‘Game of Thrones’ Recap: The Sickest Burn

Warning: This recap for the “Book of the Stranger” episode of Game of Thrones contains spoilers.

To attain true excellence in any field, one need only accept what their true talent is and then become an expert at it. For some of us, that talent could be papier maché or wet nursing or, I don’t know, surgery? But those options might require hard work and patience, two things nobody has time for. The luckiest of us have talents that are innate and require no further effort, and there is probably none more enviable than the ability to not be burned by fire. Imagine not being burned by fire! It’s a talent with countless everyday applications, not to mention party-trick potential. Basically, if you have the ability to not be burned by fire, then your weekends just got a lot more interesting. Or, if you’re Daenerys from Game of Thrones, you get to use this talent to snatch up armies like they were Gushers in a children’s hospital. A lady who can’t be burned by fire? COUNT ME IN.

“Book of the Stranger” was only the fourth episode of this season, but man, what a good one. The most talked-about scene continued one of this show’s best traditions: Climaxing with a sudden and righteous act of vengeance by Daenerys upon local jerks and rubes. Much like how Season 1 concluded with our Mother of Dragons emerging from a bonfire nude but unscathed, this episode ended with a similar act, but managed to include a wholesale MASSACRE of every Dothraki leader before the rest of their hordes bowed down before their new platinum-blonde teen queen. It was a clap-from-your-couch moment if there ever was one, and it wasn’t the only crowd-pleasing moment from this episode. Let’s talk about it!

We began at everyone’s favorite jerk-infested icy hellhole, Castle Black!

Three new visitors had arrived, and they’d come seeking a hunk. Not just any hunk… A recently undead brotherly hunk!

Yes, Sansa was finally reunited with a family member this week, and perhaps her best family member. She and Jon Snow hadn’t seen each other in a long time, which was maybe why she was suddenly overcome with a sudden urge to SMILE.

While their reunion was incredibly emotional and satisfying for longtime viewers, as longtime viewers we were all upset and unsettled at the sight of a smiling Sansa. Happy for her, true, but also, WOW. Those were some facial muscles that hadn’t been put to use in years. She was going to be sore in the morning.

One of the best parts of these early scenes at Castle Black, however, was when Brienne and Melisandre reunited. Uncomfortably. The last time they’d encountered each other, Melisandre birthed a shadow baby which murdered Brienne’s gay best friend Renly Baratheon. After that, Brienne returned the favor by personally murdering Melisandre’s former boo Stannis Baratheon. Awkward! But now they were on the same team (Melisandre has declared herself Team Jon Snow because duh) and they’ll have to work together. This would be merely the first of several PERFECT TEAM-UPS in this episode.

Another recurring theme was ordinary folks attaining power by infiltrating and exploiting the power of undervalued houses. In this case, Littlefinger officially took Lord Robin under his wing and manipulated him into volunteering his military toward Littlefinger’s various causes. And all he had to do was buy the pre-teen a falcon! So yeah: Littlefinger was suddenly back in the game kinda. But probably he’ll help the good guys this time.

Tyrion continued his de-facto leadership of Meereen by forging a peace treaty with the rich dudes who’d funded the Sons of the Harpy. How did he do this? By making them agree to end slavery in 7 years, and then he bought them all prostitutes. Game, set, match. These scenes also had some genuinely compelling discussions about slave politics, as the increasingly authoritative Missandei and Grey Worm were forced to accept compromise with the slavers despite coming from slave backgrounds. But still: Meereen sucks and it’s a bummer that Tyrion seems to be trapped here at the moment. At least until their fave lady returns…

Which was when we were whisked off to the land of the Dothraki, where Daario and Ser Jorah were tracking the Khaleesi (when not indulging in locker room talk bout their sexual prowesses and also kissing naked lady daggers or whatever. These guys.).

After murdering a couple of Dothraki thugs, the two of them interrupted Daenerys during one of her late night bonding sessions with another Dothraki widow. The point is, Daenerys had made some in-roads on gaining loyalty, but it was time to overthrow the whole system. And she had a plan! (It involved fire, spoiler alert.)

Guess who was finally back and getting actual sunlight? Margaery! Apparently the Sparrows had decided it was time for her to leave her cell and be subjected to long speeches about humility, or whatever. She did her best to smile and nod through most of it.

I liked the part where the High Sparrow claimed that he used to party a lot and one time he woke up hungover and all his friends were passed out nude in a pile of old baloney and he had no choice but to turn to religion. I think that’s how it happens for a lot of born-agains, so this felt very real and relatable. But apparently getting to talk about himself so much put him in a better mood, so he allowed Margaery to visit her brother finally.

And he was NOT happy with his current situation. Margaery tried to get Loras to cheer up and man up and get ready for battle but he was just like, “Nope.” Loras was broken, and Margaery seemed to realize that if they were getting out of this mess, it was on her. No pressure!

This was made even truer by the fact that Tommen had apparently decided that he should not threaten or anger the High Sparrow anymore. Which, WHY? As much as I find this King’s Landing stuff intriguing, I think this show has done a terrible job of making me believe the Sparrows are a threat in any way. Remember that they were kinda defunct as a group until Cersei placed a few phone calls, so why can’t they be shut down just easily? How exactly do they have such a stranglehold on the city? You’re telling me that the elite guardsmen can’t take on a bunch of robed bros? I don’t get it. These guys know what I’m talking about:

Cersei and Jaime were officially done being respectful toward religion and they were ready to declare WAR on those dicks using whatever armies they could find. Which meant they needed to band together with their in-laws in yet another example of a PERFECT TEAM-UP.

Oh, tell me more about this Cersei-Lady Olenna team-up! I need to see this play out ASAP.

So then Theon sailed home and discovered that his dad had been thrown off a bridge by a mysterious stranger. His sister Yara kinda thought he might have done it, seeing as the last time she’d seen him he was a blithering idiot who didn’t respond to his own name. But he convinced her he was back and returning to his old self, and he wanted to help her become the new king. She found this idea to be… intriguing.

Yep, another contender to the Iron Throne was officially stepping up. Get it, girl!

Then Ramsay Bolton murdered Osha and it was really upsetting. I liked Osha! She did not deserve to die, let alone in a scene as unpleasant as this one. She tried to seduce Ramsay while reaching for his knife only to get stabbed by his HIDDEN knife. Poor Osha.

Meanwhile, back at Castle Black… Who WOULDN’T be seduced by this sensual act of seduction?

Brienne, that’s who. It’s not clear if she and Red Beard (he has a name, but my Bing is broken) will become a thing, but I’m already loving this ragtag group that’s forming:

Almost immediately upon her arrival, Sansa began to lobby Jon Snow to help her return to Winterfell and murder the sh*t out of Ramsay Bolton. He seemed reluctant on account of the fact that he had done nothing but murder over the past few years, and all he had to show for himself was a lot of scars on his tight bod and several hanged friends. But because Ramsay Bolton is nothing if not timely, he then delivered a letter to Jon Snow that described in graphic detail all the rape and murder he intended to perpetrate upon Jon Snow’s various siblings (including the recently captured Rickon). So as much as he’d wanted to become a pacifist, Jon Snow suddenly agreed he had one last jerk to kill.

YES. He and Melisandre and Sansa and Brienne all uniting to destroy one of the show’s most reprehensible villains? Very into it.

We ended back at the Dothraki camp where it was time for Daenerys to pull off her plan. First she showed up to a meeting of all the Khals, who had been deep in discussion about whether they should rape Daenerys or not. She presented the opposing viewpoint that not only should they not rape her, but also they should DIE BY FIRE RIGHT NOW.

Next thing we knew, she’d locked all the doors and doused everything with lighter fluid and all the pony-tailed hunk-brutes were BURNING ALIVE. But guess who wasn’t burning alive?

THIS LADY.

And that’s when she emerged from the inferno with her clothes all melted away, at which point she stood proudly and boldly before the thousands of Dothraki she now intended to lead. Daenerys had an army again, and it was GAME (of thrones) ON.

Even though we’d seen Daenerys emerge unscathed from flames before, this scene was so much more epic in scope and ridiculous, and I mean that as a good thing. Much like the latter half of Season 5, this season has made it clear that bigger and more epic moments will be happening more frequently as the plotlines begin to enter their end runs. Before, Daenerys was a scared teen who just wanted to hang out with her new pets, but now she is a legitimate war lord bent on actual domination. THIS was who she needed to become if she’s going to lead the charge (hopefully) against the White Walkers. Things are happening, this season, guys, and much like Daenerys exiting a burning hut, it’s both beautiful and terrifying to behold.

What did YOU think of “Book of the Stranger”?

Game of Thrones airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on HBO