'Empire' Recap: Cookie the Life Saver
Warning: This recap for the “More Than Kin” episode of Empire contains spoilers.
Which television character would YOU want as an emergency contact? Question is rhetorical because there is only one correct answer: Cookie Lyon. In ANY scenario you found yourself endangered, be it a skinned knee or open heart surgery, Cookie is the one you’ll want at your side shouting at paramedics or second-guessing nurses. Because if there’s one thing Empire has proven, Cookie gets results. She gets results in the boardroom, in the courtroom, in the ambulance, EVERYWHERE. By the end of “More Than Kin” she was an official co-CEO of Empire Entertainment, but at this point even that feels kinda beneath her, that’s how vast her talents are. I know I’d trust her with my life, how about you?
“More Than Kin” found Hakeem owning up to being a babydaddy, while Lucious had to own up to being a crappydaddy. Pretty good episode, in my opinion! Let’s talk about it.
We began — where else? — in a strip club called Chubs.
In a scenario I am STILL confused about, Hakeem was either filming a rap video or simply just lip-syncing into the camera while his friends made it rain ones and fives on strippers. The reason? He was upset about losing his CEO gig and this was the only way he knew how to cope.
Laura was not super stoked about this, but at least seemed a LITTLE understanding. But she was less understanding when it came to the fact that Hakeem had knocked up Boo Boo Kitty. Yes, it had happened before they got together, but she slapped Hakeem’s face anyway. Take that, revisionist history cheater!
Meanwhile, a weird press conference related to the ASA awards was underway. While it is still not clear how prestigious these ASA awards really are — are we talking Grammy or American Music Award? — both Lucious and Jamal seemed VERY intent on winning the award they were both nominated for, to the extent that Lucious was now openly trash-talking Jamal at weird press conferences related to the ASA awards. What a family!
Cookie seemed very stoked about being caught in the middle of it.
Speaking of Cookie, I am not 100% sure what she was eating in this later scene, but I WANTED SOME. Like her, I would not have used a fork either.
Oh, and for the record, this was the new opening credits logo:
Neither Lucious’s face nor Hakeem’s face was on display anymore. Just a broken record. Though, if the trend of matching the logo to whomever is the CEO continues, then I am VERY excited to see what next week’s logo will be.
Oh man, Michael came back, everybody.
Michael was now working as a cater water, which was awkward in that he accepted a gig at Empire Entertainment knowing full well he’d run into Jamal there. Lest we forget, Michael was the one constantly frowning at and judging Jamal at every turn when they were together, only to accept a blowie from a skeezy bearded artist on the balcony during a party. Michael was the worst. But I guess because this episode wanted us to believe he was a poor bohemian everyman now, he showed up to take Jamal to a local nightclub where Jamal could be inspired by small-time musicians again. Fine, whatever.
I liked when Hakeem decided to go full-blown babydaddy on Anika, but I had to laugh out loud when he baby-proofed his penthouse apartment, including putting up a fence around his living room jacuzzi and another fence around his weight bench. That is exactly the kind of environment in which a child will thrive. Great work.
Question: How long until this teddy bear attempts to take over the company?
In addition to purchasing a disturbingly large teddy bear, another way Hakeem was doing right by Anika was by confronting Lucious about having threatened to murder her. Long story short, Hakeem didn’t appreciate it, and told Lucious as much. This gave Lucious a lot to think about, and I’m glad he did it while filmed in profile in front of a large graphic of his profile. Sometimes that’s the only way to really think about what you’ve done.
But just when Cookie offered to go talk to Anika about Lucious’s behavior, suddenly Anika was being carted away by paramedics due to mysterious health problems! Cookie had no choice but to shout at the paramedics until they allowed her to ride in the ambulance. She was, after all, the future grandmother of this baby. But her presence ended up being for the best:
Like I was saying, there is nobody I’d rather have riding in an ambulance with me than Cookie Lyon. She basically shouted Anika calm. But seriously, only Cookie could have gotten Anika to chill out and breathe, which leads me to wonder what an Empire spin-off featuring Cookie as a doctor might look like. Amazing, that’s what.
Lucious and that female reporter were just about to do some nasty sex to each other at Club Leviticus (there had been slapping and hair pulling and whatnot) but Cookie interrupted in order to let him know that Anika was having hospital problems. I liked when the reporter (uh, blogger) made the mistake of trash-talking Cookie and Lucious pushed her down onto the couch like he was throwing away a half-eaten baloney sandwich. Nobody talks about Cookie that way!
Here was Anika’s mom, Ms. Calhoun. She obviously looked like a classy woman, but the best part was how much she hated the Lyons just as a rule. She was NOT impressed when she met Hakeem. For her part, Cookie seemed torn between hating the woman and respecting her style:
But in short, Anika was fine, the baby was fine, and everyone seemed pretty glad about that. Even Lucious showed up to be supportive, and he and Hakeem enjoyed a father-son bonding moment in which Lucious promised that he’d look after his grandbabymama to the fullest extent he could, which was a big step up from threatening to murder her. Progress!
Even though Laura had called off her engagement to Hakeem on account of him being kind of a dick lately, they were able to have a romantic reconciliation in Anika’s hospital room. Because nothing’s more romantic than your bed-ridden ex just snoring away nearby. But whatever, Laura put her ring back on and they were engaged again! True love.
Lucious was still not Dad of the Year, though, as evidenced by the fact that he could not stop trashing Jamal to anybody who would listen. In this moment, Jamal walked up while Lucious was calling him every name in the book and he was not happy about it. So he decided to leave this Bipolar Disease Awareness fundraiser that Andre had organized (oh yeah, Andre organized a Bipolar Disease Awareness fundraiser) so that he could go perform at that little night club again. That’ll show him!
The night also took a turn when that spurned blogger lady showed up and Lucious called her a dumpster witch (paraphrasing) and she retaliated by alerting Andre to the fact that Kelly Rowland was still alive and in a rest home. Whuh-oh! Nothing will spice this show up like a feeble, senile woman wandering into the mix!
That’s when two of the shareholders (including the woman whose cat Lucious murdered) approached Lucious and Cookie with a VERY good idea: Both Lucious AND Cookie should be co-CEOs of Empire Entertainment! Cookie attempted to politely decline the offer, but Lucious insisted they both accept it. Co-CEOs: imagine that! But something about the way he hugged her made it seem like maybe he was not fully excited about sharing the position.
Whoops, it appears their newfound mutual respect was probably not going to last. If there’s one thing we can all count on, it’s that Lucious would prefer to run this company alone, just my opinion. But I for one cannot wait to have Cookie formally in charge of Empire. And credit to those shareholders: It WAS a great idea. Cookie is not only the best unlicensed paramedic in New York, she was the best person all around. Duh.
“More Than Kin” was full of weird little moments, but it also managed to resonate emotionally in a way many other episodes haven’t. There aren’t too many episodes left of this season and I’m not totally sure what the season’s building toward. The ASA awards? Bring a book. Still, as long as Cookie’s around doling out motherly advice, chasing ambulances, and noisily eating elaborate desserts at 9 in the morning, what else do I need? Nothing. She is a life- (and show-) saver always.
What did YOU think of “More Than Kin”?
Empire airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on Fox.
