‘Empire’ Recap: Cookie and the Awkward Love Triangle

Warning: This recap of the “Sin That Amends” episode of Empire contains spoilers.

Although nearly 100 percent of the human population would watch a show that consisted only of Cookie Lyon entering a room, shouting at everybody, and then leaving the room, a show like that is just not possible at this time. The technology isn’t there yet. Instead we have Empire, which is the closest we’ll ever come to a show entirely about Cookie. But while it became a water cooler hit (where is a water cooler anymore?) almost entirely due to the expert scene thievery by Taraji P. Henson, Empire is also a show about other people, and many of those people are serious and their struggles are grounded and relatable. Cookie might wear the purplest fur coats, but Empire needs to get real sometimes in order for its surreality to shine.

This has been a dressed-up way of saying that Empire WENT THERE this week. While the Lyons have never had a particularly rosy friendship with the police, “Sin That Amends” outright recreated the kind of police brutality we see reported on the news nearly every day (albeit without the murder part — yet). And while this episode also featured a white papier-maché lion with diamonds for eyes, it’s these kinds of scary, ripped-from-real-life moments that inject a bit of adrenaline into an already fast-paced show. Let’s talk about it!

We began with America’s sweetheart repeatedly dragging herself out of bed in order to let in deliverymen.

They came bearing gifts… From Lucious! And man, were they classy.

Lucious may be legally married to Anika, but he’s as romantically into Cookie as ever! And as everyone knows, the way to win back your ex-wife’s heart is definitely through gold-plated revolvers, espresso machines, and, of course, papier-maché lions with diamonds for eyes.

Cookie, of course, is OVER Lucious, so she personally shoved all his gifts and luxury items back into his office. And while I appreciated the poignant moment where Lucious placed a rejected diamond bracelet onto the lion’s proud brow, it was clear he was not deterred. He would be winning back Cookie’s heart by any means necessary.

…Which was going to be a problem now that Taye Diggs had arrived! He played a local politician who, according to an immediately contemptuous Cookie, “wouldn’t know streets if it shot him in the ass.” In this regard, I am a lot like Taye Diggs’ character as well. For example, if the streets shot me in the ass I would be like, “Hey, who shot me?” And if you told me it was the streets I’d be like, “Who?”

Anyway, Taye Diggs really wanted Jamal to use his experience as a victim of gun violence to get involved in Taye Diggs’ nonprofit hip-hop act W.O.K.E. Cookie did not like this idea, mostly because Empire needs her to “hate” Taye Diggs before she can fall into his bed, so he was going to have to do a certain amount of wooing first.

Speaking of wooing, Shyne’s sister had begun to take a shyne to Hakeem, duh. Not only are they both equally adorable, they make great hip hop together! She inspired him in the booth by adding her own zesty flavor the likes of which Laura and Tiana could never. Check out how Hakeem was looking at her:

FAIR ENOUGH. But the downside was that Shyne kicked the ass of a guy who looked at his sister wrong, so that was probably going to be a cause of concern for Hakeem should their flirtation go anywhere. Watch out, Hakeem!

Andre was still yelling at Rhonda (and presumably the toilet and also his shoes), but on the upside, he and Jamal were able to bond over their medication woes. Both were fighting mental illness and both were having a hard time popping the correct amount of pills. For example, Andre did not want to take his bipolar medicine very much, and Jamal was basically impersonating a Hungry Hungry Hippo when it came to his pain medication. At least they had each other though.

Then Cookie screamed herself hoarse at Taye Diggs, mostly because one time he got out of a DUI (I think?) and didn’t serve his time. But as Jamal noted, the only person she’d ever yelled at so hard was Lucious, which meant that Cookie was HORNY for Taye Diggs. Good for her!

Lucious’s next romantic overture was waking up Cookie from a stone-cold slumber with the sight of BIZ MARKIE HIMSELF performing “Just a Friend” directly at her. Now, I love this song just as much as the next gentleboy, but God help me if Biz Markie came into my bedroom and bellowed it at me, I would die of fright. I would be screaming in hell right now instead of writing this recap, that’s how horrible that would be for me. I did not ask for that! Cookie didn’t either, but here’s the twist: SHE LOVED IT. She sang along to every word, and Biz Markie high-fived Lucious on his way out.

This spurred Cookie and Lucious to share a flashback to the time Lucious first spotted Cookie on the sidewalk. He’d fallen immediately in love no duh. But back in the present day real world, Cookie had to remind him that those cute times were over because she’d been betrayed for the last time. So the Biz Markie stunt had been cute, but she was still D-O-N-E. Sorry, guy!

I thought it was charming when Cookie tried to cheer up Andre about his mental problems. But I don’t know if recommending that he go back to church was the best solution. He had HAD IT with the lord. Personally I really enjoy Andre’s condition. He’s differently abled now! That’s so much more interesting than what he was before. (What was he before?)

A clever aspect of the flashbacks was how it tied into Cookie’s current dilemma. See, before she’d dated Lucious, she’d dated a very stand-up, serious-minded boy set on a solid, serious life. And Cookie had declined his invitation to be his lady because she wanted to pursue a wilder and crazier life full of T-Boz wigs and possible jail time. But now, of course, she was ready for a more serious life, which reminded her that maybe Taye Diggs WAS a suitable crush object after all. Cookie was ready to go straight!

I loved when they were all at Taye Diggs’ fundraiser gala and Cookie reacted this way when Lucious interrupted her crush-gaze:

Cookie is truly a treasure.

To be honest, Lucious should probably not have attempted to force Jamal to perform without prior warning. All it took was an outstretched microphone and a flashbulb (?) to immediately drive Jamal into a PTSD-related fugue state. So no, Jamal would not be performing for the W.O.K.E. kids this day or any day.

And now that Cookie had started making heart-eyes at Taye Diggs, guess who brandished his dagger-eyes? Lucious! This love triangle was now ON.

Meanwhile, Becky was sad and upset because her rapper boyfriend had signed a contract at another record label and wanted her to come with! But Becky was NOT interested. Except, maybe she was? Cookie had rudely denied her the A&R job she always wanted, so maybe Becky was about to turn her back on Empire? I don’t know, guys. I have a bad feeling about this. Stay strong, Becky!

I like whenever the three brothers get together and commiserate about their mental health and then drink a lot. They may not make great decisions, but at least they do it together.

Oh, Tariq. First of all, Lucious was right, he truly does live in a sad studio apartment by himself. But as much as everyone always talks about how Tariq and the Lyons go way back, this flashback let us know just how far back:

Tariq is Lucious’s half-brother (via their father) but Tariq’s mother did NOT want Tariq playing in the streets with Lucious or listening to him bob and weave to Biz Markie all day. In other words, they were brothers but they were enemies. Now one of them was plotting the other’s downfall while eating Cup o’ Noodles. It’s all so Shakespearean!

I loved when Anika used the baby monitor to MacGyver the s–t out of that wireless teddy bear cam. It took her like 10 seconds to figure out someone was spying on the nursery, and I got a chill when Lucious and Anika ripped out the camera AS A COUPLE. He may not trust her to hire a nanny, but even he had to acknowledge she’ll be a pretty fierce mother. Great job, girl.

The episode ended with this genuinely upsetting and upsettingly predictable moment in which a newly energized Andre decided to grapple with Rhonda’s death by clearing her things from their old apartment. But then the police showed up on a tip that someone was robbing the place. I think you can guess what happened next.

Yep. Empire takes on police brutality. Poor Andre! (Poor America!!)

When it comes to Empire tackling hugely important issues, it’s hard to be mad that America’s #1 network drama needs to get real sometimes. On the other hand, will it take away from the show’s fun cartoon moments? Last week a man was beaten with a laptop. But Empire has always been both things — serious and ridiculous — and that’s certainly not going to stop now. Thank God.

What did YOU think of “Sin That Amends”?

Empire airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on Fox.