Emo Kylo Ren Is the Best 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' Parody Account Yet
(WARNING: Unless you want some big surprises in Star Wars: The Force Awakens spoiled for you, best to exit this post immediately.)
If you've made it past the spoiler warning, it means you've seen Episode VII and have met hotheaded villain-in-training Kylo Ren, played in full hair cape glory by Adam from Girls (aka Adam Driver).
Now meet Emo Kylo Ren, you're new favorite parody Twitter account.
Emo Kylo Ren is a self-described "ren's rights activist" and only follows two other accounts: Darth Vader and Hot Topic.
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He mostly tweets angst-ridden complaints about his dad, Han Solo:
dad the wookiee used all my garnier fructis
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 23, 2015
fine I will go to the dance dad but I will not dance I will wear a dark peacoat and stand in a corner with hux passing judgment on everyone
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 23, 2015
His mom, Princess-turned-General Leia:
mom please don't even pretend you know what I'm going through right now also we are out of conditioner
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
it's not a tantrum MOM
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
His grandfather and own personal hero, Darth Vader:
the only person who could truly understand what i'm going through died on the second death star before i was even born
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
i hate sand grandpa was right it gets everywhere
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
And his best friend, hipster General Hux, who is definitely that guy:
dear diary i met a guy at lunch named hux he has read nietzche he says he says everyone should read nietzche
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 21, 2015
dear diary hux and i are wearing black to commemorate the defeat at the battle of endor we both always wear black but today it means more
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
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There's lots of general emo-ness:
you can't truly appreciate the imperial march until you hear it on vinyl
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
i wish i'd suffered more
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 23, 2015
There's a lot of whining about how everyone keeps calling him Ben Solo:
dear diary mom and dad still don't believe that my name is kylo dad laughs whenever i say it nobody at school calls me kylo but hux
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
my name is kyle my name is kyle my name is kyle my name is KYLO fucking autocorrect
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
they make fun of me but kylo ren is a way realer name than biggs darklighter, the actual name of a man who my grandpa killed in a battle
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
And there are a looooooooooooot of tweets at Hot Topic:
@HotTopic do you have any eyeliner that is the exact color of darth vader
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
@HotTopic if not you will lose a valued customer
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
@hottopic you should carry more darth vader bedding it would be a best-seller
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
@HotTopic let me know when the Darth Vader patches are back in stock so I can place an order online those were sick
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 23, 2015
But really, those patches were sick.
Now, here are six things you probably didn't know about the new Star Wars:
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