Welcome to the 21st century, Fellow Earth-Beings!
"GDNY": I never thought I would be this excited about going to the bathroom, but I can't wait to check out this toilet paper with advertising on it! But what happens if I see an ad that I like and want to take it with me? Does that mean I have to walk around with a few squares of toilet paper hanging out of the back of my pants or the bottom of my shoe all day? And what if someone has an emergency that requires toilet paper, would I be able to spare a square? All these questions are stressing me out! And you know what happens when I'm stressed? I have to go to the bathroom!
"Today": Y'know, you future-heads can complain all you want about not having jetpacks, still living in houses made of wood, and still having to scoop the fruit out of the bottom of your yogurt. But I dare you to complain about your lack of astronaut ice cream, since you all woke up this morning, August 21st, 2012, one of the main stories on "The Today Show" was "Curiosity Rover Zaps Laser Pulses At Mars Rock". A ha! Welcome to the 21st century, fellow Earth-beings! Now let's use our magical future technology to see what Honey Boo Boo is up to!
"GMA": Welcome back Robin! You're looking invigorated and refreshed after a little much-needed R&R (that's R&R as in "rest & relaxation", not "Robin & Roberts"). Here's wishing you good health and smooth sailing... We miss you when you're away!
Watch "Daytime in No Time" right now and e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org!
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