Christina Aguilera did not get what a girl wants this week on "The Voice," as her one remaining contestant of Season 3, Dez Duron, was voted out of the top eight on Tuesday. Team Xtina is officially no more.
Sure, this gives Christina more time to devote to other important pursuits for the rest of the season, like shopping for rainbow-dip-dyed wigs and promoting her new album, Lotus--which we all know was a bigger priority for her all along. But she's still probably feeling mighty blue right now.
I, on the other hand, am feeling Belew. And I'm probably more upset than Christina is, really. Because my boy Cody Belew from Team Cee Lo--my favorite male singer of the entire season--was the other contestant to go home this Tuesday. Le sigh.
While my heart broke into itty-bitty pieces seeing Cody get cut this soon, I was not hugely shocked. I suppose the writing was already on the NBC wall. Cody's glamboyant performance last Monday--of Beyonce's "Crazy In Love," complete with go-go dancers, bam-bam hip action, and lots 'n' lots of leather--was undoubtedly off-putting to more conservative viewers, even though he was safe by the skin of his gleaming white teeth last week. And while his Queen cover this week was a bit more sedate, let's face it: This guy was never going to be everybody's cup of chardonnay.
And considering that Cody once wasn't voted through by America even when he gave his most traditional performance of the whole season, "One More Try" (he was Cee Lo Green's personal top 12 pick that week), perhaps he was doomed no matter what.
It's really too bad. I will miss Cody dearly, and "The Voice" will be much, much less exciting without him. But at least he went out with a bang (and with a bam-bam), performing two flashy, absolutely fabulous performances back-to-back. "I really wanted to show everyone that that's the kind of concert you would see from me in any arena around the word," Cody explained last week, when host Carson Daly had questioned him about his risky "Crazy In Love" spectacle. And I still look forward to seeing Cody's arena show someday. And hey, on the bright side, now Cody is free to book an arena tour with the other major robbed reality-TV showboaters of 2012: "The X Factor's" Lyric 145! (This is my dream. Someone make this happen. Please.)
In all seriousness, there may actually be a glass-half-full way of looking at these results. First of all, the first three contestants to make it through to the top six--Cassadee Pope, Amanda Brown, and Melanie Martinez--were all female, and in an age when girls hardly ever succeed on "American Idol" (and didn't fare so well on "The Voice" Season 2, either), it was a bit heartening to see that the ladies could still rock the public vote. Second, Dez Duron--arguably the most handsome, but least vocally gifted, contestant in the top eight--went home instead of less conventionally attractive hopefuls (Nicholas David, for instance). So maybe this proves that "The Voice" really is about the voice, after all...
Oh, who am I kidding? The glass is half empty. Cody's gone. Christina Aguilera, if you're reading this, let's go commiserate together and hang out with Cody after the show. I'll bring the chardonnay.