We're only three weeks into Season 2 of "The Mindy Project" and already, big things that were going to happen are not happening anymore. But Mindy's hair is still short and Dr. Danny Castellano (Chris Messina) is seriously single. Dizzy much?
To recap, the season began with Pastor Casey (Anders Holm) proposing to Dr. Mindy Lahiri (Mindy Kaling) while they were in Haiti getting up superearly every day and saving the world. We obviously root for Mindy to get with Dr. Danny because he is clearly her soulmate, but we were game to watch Mindy plan a wedding. Alas, no. Mindy and Casey's was a very short engagement. And it's not because she kissed Dr. Paul Leotard (James Franco). Still dizzy much?
With so much change in the air, we thought it would be wise to track Hurricane Mindy's emotions thus far — with Emojis, naturally — the way you track an actual storm.
Level 5: Watch out! Tornado? Sharknado? Mind-ado!
Level 4: Danger! Yes, that's hail out there
Level 3: Thunder sounds worse than it is (knock on wood)
Level 2: Cloudy with 50-50 chance of drama
Level 1: Smooth sailing. Happy, healthy, and totally well-adjusted!
At the beginning of the season, Mindy raved to everyone back in New York via "an old form of email called mail" about how she and Casey were rocking Haiti. We didn't buy it.
Pastor Casey tried to get her to appreciate the sunset, and she responded that it looks like a certain feminine hygiene project. Ha ha.
It was so "Sex and the City" when she got back to the clinic and was telling everyone the good news about losing 3 pounds of water weight. Her fiancé had to remind her about the engagement, which is never a good sign.
Remember when she got the New Hot Dr. L. (Franco) all the way to his door and then kissed him even though he was practically passed out? That's the un-Carrie Bradshaw, and we liked it.
Danny-and-Mindy-are-meant-to-be moment #4355: Everyone is encouraging Danny to get back together with his crazy, computer-smashing wife, Christina (Chloë Sevigny), except Mindy, who is like, dude. No. She broke your computer.
Could there be a bigger sign that it's not meant to be than your fiancé peeing on your dress? Probably not, and we were pleased to see Mindy hiding out on the fire escape in her comfy womfies.
We knew Mindy didn't want to marry Casey even as she was walking down the hall in her scrubs to a slow jam cover of Madonna's "Borderline." And when Casey announced that he wanted to postpone, we wanted her to take it a step further and call it off.
OK, the one-piece whipped-cream bathing suit was a downright cruel thing to do to Casey, especially when she teased him by referencing the bikini in "Friday Night Lights."
You go back to America, get a UTI from an accident with whipped cream, and return to work where they stuff you in a closet and call it an office even though it's "a Hobbit hole where old computers go to die." It's normal to frown, especially when these same co-workers eat frozen yogurt without you and one of them hangs their wet bathing suit over your desk.
The Mindy we love totally got back at the New Dr. L. (Franco) by challenging him to a shot-off. We loved it when she let him in on her secret: "I ate an entire loaf of bread today." Well done, Original Dr. L.
Anyone who thinks that dating Kris Humphries is OK ... needs to watch back episodes of "Keeping Up With the Kardashians."
Anyone who gets home and finds a pastor turned aspiring deejay oblivious to the fire alarm sounding because of forgotten grilled cheese should dump that dude. Fast. It was almost creepy the way Mindy kind of let it go. Especially when he said, "Gotta melt cheddar to make cheddar." Cringe.
We can all relate to her horror at the scene that is an outdoor music fair, right? "The '60s without a higher purpose" is a fine description, indeed. And Danny hates it, too. Can they get together already?!
She tells Danny that she is blowing off Pastor Casey's show. And Danny tells her it would be "a dick move" not to go. So she goes, but not before telling him that he shouldn't call girls dicks. Notice how they both learn from each other.
Literal example: She's crowd surfing against her will and she screams, "My scoliosis!"
Pastor Casey tells her that the whole time he was Spinning he was deciding that he wants to be an event planner. That mortified look on her face is totally called for.
The last scene is a Level 1, because the bad relationship that wasn't meant to be is over and Mindy isn't trying to avoid dealing with it by cracking jokes or applying whipped cream to her wounds. She's sitting on her bed alone and crying, totally normal post-breakup.
Next week, we'll probably get details on the inevitable binge eating and rebound. Also, Timothy Olyphant is a guest star this season. Smiling yet? Yeah, we thought so.
"The Mindy Project" airs Tuesdays at 9:30 p.m. on Fox.