Seriously, I’m Not A Doctor. Or Even A Nurse


"Today": Matt Lauer spent his Friday recreating an Old Spice commercial, partying in Barbados and playing a hilarious jet-ski-related prank on Giada De Laurentiis. You know, one o' those. Is it me, or is he flying through his "Bucket List"?

"Ellen": If Katy Perry named her cat "Kity Purry", and now she wants to have kids, is she gonna call them "Kiddy Perries"? Or "Baby Brands"? Tough call!

"Sesame Street": With all of the complicated discussions that I'm sure are taking place between the owners and players during the NBA lockout (or so I'm told by my co-workers), it must have been a nice break for Carmelo and Amar'e to just deal with some puppets for a while. If only they could get Grover or Elmo to the negotiating table, maybe they could work things out a little faster!

"Wendy Williams": I watched a lot of TV this morning, and I must say that grown men who can jump rope and play basketball while on unicycles is pretty much the coolest thing I saw! Sorry, Matt Lauer.

"Wake Up with Al": The Steven Tyler Cabbage Patch Kid doll was pretty cool, and so was the Al Roker one… I suppose. But the other ones being featured were of Katherine Heigl, Raven Symone and Kristen Chenoweth - which I thought was kind of weird. I mean hey, if they were looking for C and D-list celebrities I was totally available!

"The Doctors": Seriously, I'm not a doctor. Or even a nurse.

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