"Today": I knew it! MC Hammer and Barack Obama are the same person! Just check out the mash-up video of Obama singing "U Can't Touch This" that's all over the web! It's spot-on! So I'm going to start referring to him as President Hammer!
"Wendy Williams": There's absolutely no reason why The Hoff can't be on the show every day showing off his smooth chest! I don't know who I need to call, or where to send a strongly worded letter, but we need to make this happen, people!
"Access Hollywood Live": The only problem with having multiple Emmy award-winning host Tom Bergeron visit, is that he tends to upstage Billy and Kit. Then Billy tries to step his game up to compete, and he just comes off looking like non-Emmy award winning host! Just be yourself Billy, we all know you're not Tom, and we're good with that!
"Jeremy Kyle": There's definitely a common theme on the show this season, and it's guests leaving the stage and heading backstage… where the bickering and arguing continues! But to keep things fresh, today they headed all the way out onto the sidewalk outside the building! It makes me wonder if the cameramen on this show have to do a strength and conditioning test before getting the job, to make sure they can keep up!
"Live! with Kelly and Michael": Michael Strahan joined a dance troupe on stage for some choreographed moves and let me just say, the dance troupe was really good! Michael on the other hand, well I can say he tried really hard, but that's about it!
"Ellen": Since Russell Brand surprised us all by making his own homemade internet cat video for Ellen, I'll try to return the favor by writing a philosophical, wordy Russell Brand joke: "Sometimes I can't help but wonder, Rusty, if there isn't a parallel universe in which a vain British cat movie star is appearing on an American female cat's hit talk show, and showing off his brand new hilarious pet Russell Brand video, that he made for the cat internet… and his video is such a hit, the cat talk show host even forgets to ask about his painful divorce from Kitty Purry.
Watch "Daytime in No Time" right now and e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org!
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