"Today": Sure, sometimes they break real news over at 30 Rock during the "Today Show," but no, not today. That wasn't a real dictator calling in to make empty threats about being banned from the Oscars; it was Sacha Baron Cohen! Y'know, the Ali-G-nious behind "Borat"? Come on, "Bruno" the guy I'm talking about. No? Well you will, if "Hugo" up there to Yahoo! search and type in his name.
"Ellen": Hmm, I think Seth Rogen's new wife was probably thinking she made a mistake by sitting in the audience to watch her hubs embarrass him (and her) with toilet-based pet names. Every time they cut to her, she looked a little more like she'd rather be in the ladies' room. Well, hey, it coulda been worse: at least he didn't call her the "Green Hornet".
"Wendy Williams": One of the many things I love about Wendy is that she has her own catch phrase. And I feel like I'm reaching the point in my career where I too should have my own. If only she could come on my show and help me come up with one. Well as luck would have it, that just might happen! Stay tuned!
"Swift Justice with Jackie Glass": Hey Judge Jackie! You know everything, so here's a question: can I sue someone too, if they leave me a voicemail message full of bleeps? Also, does it count if the person is my friend LuAnn, and the bleeps are her swearing at other drivers as she talks to me while she's stuck in traffic? (Hands-free, of course. Only us law-abiders here on this show, judge!)
Watch "Daytime in No Time" right now and e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org!
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