Be My Morning Beacon or Bacon


"Today": Don't play with my emotions, Matt Lauer! That kind of stuff is not funny! I mean, Regis is leaving, Chris Cuomo stopped returning my calls, nobody's heard or seen from Harry Smith for months  now, and don't even get me started on what's going on over at "The Talk"... I'm just at a very sensitive point in my Daytime life right now. So be my rock, Matt Lauer. Be my morning beacon (or bacon.) Can you do that for Nikki? I know you can.

"Regis and Kelly": I guess Kelly was probably joking about having all of Reeg's surgeons come out and do a kick-line during his last show next month. But I would actually pay to see a chorus line of M.D.'s high-steppin' it in scrubs! We could call them "The Dock-ettes!"

"The View": Kevin Smith was on the show and of course his incident with Southwest Airlines came up when he was asked to leave a plane for being too big. And that's when Barbara Walters said to him "you're not that fat." Gee that was a really, uh, nice thing to say Barbara, I'm sure he really appreciated that!

"Access Hollywood Live": The laughter Gods were smiling on this show today! Not long after playing a recording of a classic Michael Douglas laugh, Dyan Cannon showed up and dropped one of the greatest laughs I've ever heard on them that will undoubtedly earn its own spot in the production room. So, move over Michael Douglas laugh, you've just been replaced!

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