Recap: ‘Law & Order: Special Victims Unit’ Episode 13-01: ‘Scorched Earth’

It's not that "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" is formulaic. It's that...uh...when a show's been on for this long, certain patterns start to emerge? Fine: It's formulaic. But that doesn't mean it's not enjoyable. Here are the most basic facts you need to know about last night's episode.

Crime: A maid is assaulted by a guest at the hotel where she works.

Red Herring Suspect: None, for once: The right guy, Robert Distasio (Franco Nero), is arrested at the end of the cold open.

Famous Guest Star Who Obviously Did It: I guess Nero has been around for a while, but in this country, he's outshone by Anika Noni Rose, the famous guest star who plays his victim, Miriam.

Headlines This Was Ripped From: Dominique Strauss-Kahn's charges of raping a hotel maid earlier this summer.

How Was the Real Story Fictionalized? Distasio is head of the "Global Economic Trust," not the IMF; he's Italian, not French; he leaves behind his laptop, not his phone; his charges actually go to trial instead of being dismissed.

Who On the SVU Team Is Taking It Personally? Because the victim is a Congolese rape survivor, Alex (Stephanie March) — just returned from prosecuting such war crimes in that country — advocates especially hard for her. Also, Fin (Ice T) gets a moment to smack down Distasio for dismissing his victim because of her profession: "My grandmother was a maid."

Egregious Breach of Procedure: Distasio's lawyer, Stan Exley (Ron Rifkin), springs a surprise witness on the prosecution: a man Miriam paid to help embellish her testimony in her application for asylum. Though she was raped by one soldier, he told her to say it was "one dozen soldiers." (A horrible story in a recent issue of The New Yorker indicated that this practice is fairly common. You can read it here, though a subscription is required.)

It's 10 PM, Y'All! "He put it in my mouth...and when I spit it out, he laugh and said, 'This is the difference between like and love.'"

Verdict: The jury can't reach a unanimous verdict on the rape charge; he's acquitted of second-degree assault, but convicted of unlawful imprisonment in the second degree.

Revelations about the Continuing Characters' Personal Lives That We Should Remember Going Forward: Cutter (Linus Roache) has migrated over from the cancelled "Law & Order" to be the DA's new "SVU Bureau Chief," a job I don't recall ever existing before. New girl Amanda Rollins transferred from Atlanta, so we can probably expect her to crack cases with southern charm. Because Christopher Meloni has left the show, Elliot has retired from the force over his sixth (!) questionable shooting.