A Gap-Toothed Toothbrush
"Today": I love that people are making sandals out of old jeans! It totally makes me want to make sandals out of stuff I have laying around the house. I never use that cappuccino machine I got as a gift, maybe I could make sandals out of that. Or what about those yard gnomes I've hated for years, I could make gnome sandals! And I still have a ton of Thanksgiving leftovers in the fridge, what about turkey and cranberry sauce sandals!
"GMA": Okay, I get it, boys, I get it... "Milking" is funny BECAUSE it's so stupid. But for your next silly viral internet fad, how about something a little more satisfying... like Cookie-ing! Come on, dumping cookies all over yourself seems like a lot more fun than dousing yourself in milk, right? Who's with me? Anyone? Cookie-ing? Ugh... fine, we'll just start "Santa-ing". Can't wait to see pics of all you idiots stuffed down your own chimneys!
"Live! with Kelly and Michael": I feel like Michael Strahan had been smiling non-stop since landing his dream job taking over for Regis... until Carrot Top gave him a gap-toothed toothbrush on today's show. Then all of a sudden, that famous pearly white picket fence disappeared from his mug REAL quick. Great move Carrot Top! Make sure to get the huge six-foot something co-host mad at you. That's way less dangerous than an angry Kelly Ripa!
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