Coolest Celebrity Ever


"Today": People are calling Tom Hanks the coolest celebrity ever because of those goofy pics he took with one of his fans — reportedly in a South Dakota restaurant. Well, I send out stickers to my fans with a little note thanking them for being awesome! Take that, Hanks! Besides, what has he done to get so popular?

"GMA": They keep talking about "the Las Vegas code" when it comes to Prince Harry and his shenanigans, but I'm confused. The only code I know about Vegas is to bring lots and lots of money that you should plan on losing, and don't go outside while the sun is up or you'll melt. What does that have to do with Prince Harry?!

"Access Hollywood Live": I find it interesting that showing support for some naked prince has become way more popular than showing support for an actual cause, like pet adoption or whatever. What's even worse, is now we have to see all these pictures of people posing naked and saluting! Please everyone, put your clothes back on and show support in a different way! Except for you Billy Bush, you can do whatever you want… with abs like that!

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