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The CliffsNotes On The Wig Notes

Daytime in No Time

"Today": Can Betty White get any more adorable? She told "Today" about her new boyfriend… and orangutan! The animal lover has dedicated years to caring about our furry friends, but don't get your hopes up Mr. Orangutan, the "Golden Girl" said she loves the single life and has no plans on monkeying around with marriage again!

"The Early Show": You have quite the nerve, "The Early Show" with you and your segment about stress-free holiday advice! You've obviously never seen a Hollywood holiday movie, or gone home with me to St. Louis for a frenzied feast with the Boyer clan. So, Erica Hill, c'mon over this year and put those stress-free tactics to the test (you'll lose!)

"Live! with Kelly": Well, a new daytime dawned in the world of morning TV today: for the first time since anyone could remember, Regis Philbin hit his snooze button, and probably got breakfast in bed, as he watched Kelly Ripa do her first ever show in the PP era. (That's "PP" for "Post-Philbin". Or should it be "AR", for "After-Regis"? In either case, you do NOT wanna know about the "Before Philbin" era... there were no TV's! Shudder!)

"Wake Up With Al": I used to enjoy jumping into giant leaf piles, but after seeing how much fun that dog was having I don't think I enjoyed it near enough. Looks like I know what I'll be doing this weekend! Of course I just need someone to come over and do the hard part, which is raking all the leaves. And then I'll do the fun part and dive right in!

"Wendy Williams": Wendy must have seen Friday's "Daytime in No Time" where I was fascinated with the note she pulled out of her wig, because she did the same thing again today! She could totally write the CliffsNotes on wig notes! And this time she actually read what was on it, although that part was kind of disappointing. I was hoping for something juicy or groundbreaking, but it was just some stuff she had jotted down about an international awards show she is presenting on. Boring!

Watch "Daytime in No Time" right now and e-mail me at daytimeinnotime@yahoo.com!

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