‘The Biggest Loser’: Who Should Replace Anna Kournikova?

Just one short season after joining "The Biggest Loser" as a trainer, tennis star Anna Kournikova has evidently realized that she is not fit to fill Jillian Michaels's supportive yet stylish sneakers and is leaving the NBC reality series. According to The Hollywood Reporter's Merle Ginsberg, Kournikova proved to be a poor replacement for Michaels, both in terms of motivating the show's contestants (which she apparently did badly) and getting along with the show's staff (which she...did not do).

Kournikova's departure leaves the show with a crucial role to fill, and — given that NBC runs the series pretty much year-round — very little time to fill it. So in order to expedite the process, we have a few pretty great suggestions for people the network should get in touch with right away.

LeBron James
Pros: He's in excellent shape; he's spent his entire career working with world-class coaches and has surely learned some lessons; it looks like he's going to have a few free months ahead of him.
Cons: His team of contestants couldn't necessarily be sure that he wouldn't ditch them in the middle of a workout.

Kelly Ripa
Pros: She's fit, perky, and personable and has proven after years opposite Regis Philbin that even the crankiest attitude a "Biggest Loser" contestant could throw her way wouldn't faze her in the least.
Cons: The 17 jobs she already has might be enough.

Jonathan Lipnicki
Pros: Have you seen him lately? He clearly knows what he is doing.
Cons: If he still has the lisp he did in "Jerry Maguire," it could be very distracting to contestants.

Kathy Griffin
Pros: She clearly works hard on her figure, and has probably "heard" about a lot of diet techniques from the sorts of celebrities she mentions in her act.
Cons: The show already tried having a female comic on staff, and it didn't really work out (no pun intended).

Apolo Anton Ohno
Pros: He's an Olympian, a marathoner, and a reality-TV veteran (having won "Dancing with the Stars").
Cons: He's an Olympian. His trainees don't need that kind of pressure.

Michelle Obama
Pros: In addition to the credential of her famously awesome upper arms, she has made the fight against obesity one of her signature issues.
Cons: It would probably run counter to the dignity of her office or some nonsense like that.