Beyoncé Knowles Opens Up About Miscarriage in New HBO Documentary
Beyonce Knowles (Getty Images)
In the “Love on Top” singer’s upcoming HBO documentary “Life Is But a Dream” (airing February 16) the superstar opens up for the first time about suffering a miscarriage before giving birth to daughter Blue Ivy Carter in 2012.
"About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time," Knowles reveals in an emotional scene. "I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life."
Beyoncé and her husband of nearly five years, Jay-Z, even started picking out baby names.
“I was feeling very maternal,” recalls the Grammy award-winning singer. "I envisioned what my child would look like.”
Unfortunately Knowles never got the chance to meet her child.
"I flew back to New York to get my check up -- and no heartbeat," she recalls during a raw, emotional moment. "Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat."
Beyoncé reveals that she dealt with the loss the best way she knew how: through her music.
"I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I've ever written in my life. It was actually the first song I wrote for my album,” the 31-year-old singer says about the heartbreak. “It was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I've ever been through."
Jay-Z also referenced their heartbreak on the song "Glory," which he released shortly after Blue Ivy's birth. "False alarms and false starts/All made better by the sound of your heart" he raps in one lyric.
On January 7, 2012, Beyoncé and Jay-Z were blessed with their little girl, and the singer reveals how hard it was to keep the news under wraps.
Knowles' sonogram of Blue Ivy
"Being pregnant was very much like falling in love," Knowles says. "You are so open. You are so overjoyed. There's no words that can express having a baby growing inside of you, so of course you want to scream it out and tell everyone."
“I always battle with how much do I reveal about myself,” Beyoncé asks in her “Life Is But a Dream” documentary. “People see celebrities, and they have money and fame, but I’m a human being. I cry. I get scared. I get nervous just like everyone else.”