"Today": I wish I was still in school! Not just for the fun and parties and sleeping in, but because Georgetown University is now offering a class inspired by Jay-Z! That's an easy "A" for this girl! And I coulda used a few of those!
"Ellen": Attention people of Earth: Russell Brand says he and Katy Perry are NOT splitting up. Apparently he still likes "California Girls", and she still goes for lanky, leather-clad British Beard-o's. They're even thinking about making some fireworks and waking up as parents... y'know, to further the Perry Brand. You may now return to worrying about how Kris Humphries is holding up.
"GMA": I don't know how George Stephanopoulos and Mario Batali first became friends. They probably met at some cocktail party or charity dinner or something. But I'm gonna guess that Mario's ice-breaker was something along the lines of, "Hey are you gonna finish that?"
"The View": If I was the manufacturer of the "I Am T-Pain" microphone, I would pretty bummed after watching the poor promotion they gave it on this show. Then again, I would also be pretty bummed if I created a mic that made you sound like T-Pain in the first place!
"Access Hollywood Live": I've always wondered how fresh those "finished products" are during cooking segments and I guess now we know the answer - not very fresh at all! But hey, when you're in the moment stuffing your face full of professionally prepared goodness, I'm sure it's hard to know what's good and what isn't. That's why it's important to have a guest host near by so you can just spit up the bad stuff onto their plate!
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