Ay yi yi!
"The Bachelor's" Juan Pablo Galavis took America on a roller coaster ride of emotions this season, which ended with him handing out his final rose to Nikki Ferrell, 26, on Monday's season finale. Throughout all of the muy caliente moments and several dramatic, tearful exits, we kept track of the most clichéd "Bachelor" tropes this season, right down to how many times we got to stare endlessly at the Latin hunk's abs.
If you've ever wondered how many times Juan Pablo locked lips with ladies, or the number of times the wannabe Mrs. Galavises toasted to their future with the "man of their dreams, "or how many countries the bachelor jetted to, we've got the answers.
(And please forgive us if we missed one or two moments due to the champagne-filled fun. Let's face it: Being a member of Bachelor Nation can be exhausting.)
Roses Juan Pablo handed out:
Champagne, wine, and alcoholic beverage toasts:
Times Juan Pablo kissed one of the ladies:
Times someone cried (including Juan Pablo!):
Shameless shots of Juan Pablo's abs:
Live performances from a music group or individual:
4 (but 5 if you count Sharleen's opera performance!)
Countries traveled to:
5 (including the U.S.)
Dates where a woman conquered her fear of heights with a death-defying jump:
Times someone claimed they were "nervous" or it was "hard to open up":
Women who left of their own accord:
Hot tub make out sessions:
Ridiculous lines on the show:
Too many to count, but here are some of our favorites.
"I wish the earth sucked me today, because this is the hardest decision." — Juan Pablo
"That kitchen was a hot kitchen." — Andi
"I'm really, really liking her." — Juan Pablo
"I really respect you." — Juan Pablo
"Juan Pablo's head was in her crotch for 20 minutes." — Kelly talking about Kat
"The fact that Juan Pablo was so sincere in saying, 'We don't have to do this. It is not going to ruin the day if we don't jump off the bridge.'" — Chelsie
"You're not a dog and you're not a child." — Nikki to Victoria
"There are always cameras zooming into your soul." — Sharleen
"It's a marathon not a sprint, and I just didn't get up to speed." — Kat
"I think dinner will blow our minds." — Juan Pablo in front of a geyser
"I wanted to pour my oils all over him." — Amy J.
"This pool party should be a lot of fun because it includes two of my favorite things: Juan Pablo and his sexy body." — Clare
"If she would rather stay in South Korea and be a back up dancer for 21, then I think she should stay here." — Nikki talking about Kat
[Related: Who Is the New 'Bachelorette'?]
Lines and numbers aside, this "Bachelor" season will go down in history as one of the most controversial by a long shot. Juan Pablo may have scored the heart of Nikki in the end, but he alienated the audience by disregarding for several women's feelings, his alleged inappropriate comment to Clare in the helicopter, and his inability to say "I love you" to Nikki at the "After the Final Rose" program.
Check out this video to see who bashed Juan Pablo during the season finale of "The Bachelor" on Monday: