A little alcohol can help make an awkward dating situation easier.
A lot of alcohol, though, is a disaster waiting to happen, as Victoria learns this week on "The Bachelor."
The girl gets wasted at the group date cocktail party, locks herself in a bathroom stall, cries about how she wants to go home, tries to flee the hotel (but is stopped by the producers), then passes out there instead of going back to the mansion with the rest of the ladies. Yeah, really sexy stuff.
[Related: Catch Up on 'The Bachelor' With Our Recaps]
Juan Pablo, gentleman that he is, tries to help her out, but Victoria is so hammered, she's barely intelligible. That he's the more articulate one in their conversation in the bathroom is very telling. The next morning, he visits her at the hotel and gently lets her know that he's sending her home. Dude is 32 with a daughter; he's not putting up with this ish.
Earlier in this week's episode, Juan Pablo went on his first ever one-on-one date. And not just this season — remember, he never went on a one-on-one with Desiree! The honor goes to Clare and they go ice skating and sit in a hot tub surrounded by fake snow.
Clare tells him all about her father, who passed away, and how she's looking for a stand-up guy just like him. Juan Pablo is pleased by that; he wants a woman with high standards. But though they cuddle and dance to a private concert by Josh Krajcik, Juan Pablo doesn't seem particularly moonstruck. Still, he gives Clare a rose.
If someone calls you cute, it's because they aren't attracted to you. #bachelor— Ashley S. (@AshleySpivey) January 14, 2014
For the second one-on-date, Juan Pablo whisks Kat off to Salt Lake City to participate in their Electric Run. Now, there are some real sparks (get it?) on this date, as they run, stop to dance, and just have a blast partying while wearing ridiculous neon clothing. He's smiling, she's laughing. No brainer: Kat gets a rose.
KAt says when she sees the rose she feels excited, anxious and nervous. Which is how I feel about her fucshia eyeshadow. #Bachelor— Dana Weiss (@Possessionista) January 14, 2014
Must Love Dogs
We don't understand the photo shoot group date. It's become a staple on the "Bachelor/ette" franchise, and always leaves us confused. The lead barely spends time with their suitors and frankly, it's just kind of boring to watch.
This one, a photo shoot put on by Models and Mutts to benefit a dog rescue organization, features some drama when two of the women have to pose nude.
I'm so confused why being naked helps save an animal. did I miss something??? #TheBachelor— Michelle Money (@MoneyMichelle) January 14, 2014
Elise gets crafty and switches costumes with Lucy, the "free spirit" who declares, "I was happy to take off my top, as always." But Andi remains stuck with her assignment, and the prosecutor looks miserable and totally outside her element.
She, Lucy, and Juan Pablo won't be totally naked; they have signs to hold up in front of their more private parts. But it's still the weirdest, most uncomfortable way to spend a date, ever.
Later that night, after the women change into cocktail attire, Juan Pablo spends time with each of the women in private conversation. Gotta give the guy credit — he seems to genuinely want to get to know them better.
But Victoria gets despondent over not getting time with Juan Pablo and starts throwing back the wine. Look, we like wine time as much as the next Tami Taylor, but giiiiiirl — you'd better check yourself! Some of the other women try to intervene, and Renee even crawls underneath a bathroom stall to check on her.
Finally, they alert Juan Pablo to the situation and he tries to talk to her, too. But Victoria is too far gone. She blabbers on about how she's having so many feelings. He shrugs and gives up.
When he returns to the others, he gives the rose to Kelly for being a good sport at the photo shoot.
The next morning, he returns to the hotel, where Victoria passed out. She apologizes to him, though she doesn't seem to be too regretful.
Victoria's mouth says "sorry." Her tone -- not to mention that Tierra-ble eyebrow -- says "sorry not sorry." #thebachelor— Jennifer Weiner (@jenniferweiner) January 14, 2014
Juan Pablo mans up and lets her know that while he forgives her, he needs a woman who can handle herself. See ya Victoria!
Live From the "Bachelor" House …
Cocktail party time! Juan Pablo arrives and informs them that he let Victoria go, then takes aside the women who didn't get to go on dates that week. First up is Amy, a broadcast journalist who decides to "interview" Juan Pablo about … herself?
That little impromptu interview was super weird, no?— Jackie Gordon (@JackieGordon) January 14, 2014
Then, he has some time with Sharleen, who apologizes for the "ungracious" way she accepted that first impression rose. Is Sharleen playing hard-to-get? She is hard to read. Maybe she really was shocked that she got it, or maybe she's playing games with our Bachelor.
And then, second week in a row, we have a crier. (Drink! Or, in light of Victoria, maybe not.) This time, it's Cassandra, who's missing her young son. First, she's comforted by Renee, another single mom. Then, Juan Pablo seeks her out and lets her know he knows exactly how she feels. He manages to make her smile, and then gives her a fist bump. A fist bump. A fist bump explosion. WTF?!
The rose ceremony takes place, and the only two women who don't get roses are Amy the Reporter and Chantel, who bids him a pretty chilly goodbye.
So, another week, two incidents of women crying in the bathroom, and a good amount of shirtless Juan Pablo action. All in all, job well done, "Bachelor."
This week's awards:
Frontrunner: Kat. Her date with Juan Pablo really seemed to light the guy up (get it?).
Watch a deleted scene from Juan Pablo's date with Kat:
Quote of the Week: A drunk Victoria, about giving Juan Pablo mouth-to-mouth during their photo shoot:
"Today I gave him the hymen maneuver." I think you mean "heimlich." Well, on second thought... #bachelor— Dani Shapiro (@dailydaniblog) January 14, 2014
Awkward Moment of the Week: Amy's terrible interview of Juan Pablo. She might want to rethink her career.
Crazy Move of the Week: Lucy, walking her dog naked down the street.
MVP: Renee, who tried to help both drunk Victoria and crying Cassandra.
Best Outfit: Sharleen's cocktail party dress. She's got some serious stle.
Worst Outfit: Kelly's dalmatian costume, or whatever that was.
Watch a preview of next week's episode:
"The Bachelor" airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.