'The Bachelor': Juan Pablo Needs to Work on His Birthday Gift Giving Game
Happy birthday — now, go home!
It's Cassandra's birthday this week on "The Bachelor," and Juan Pablo will make her cry if he wants to. For a sensitive guy who purports to hate hurting people's feelings, he's two for two these past couple of weeks. First, he blamed Clare for their midnight ocean romp and made her cry. Now, he dumps Cassandra on her birthday — ostensibly so she can see her son again ASAP — and makes her cry, too.
Nothing says Happy Birthday like getting dumped, in the rain, at the hobbit village. #Bachelor— Final Rose (@TheFinalRose) February 11, 2014
Then, Sharleen cries after the rose ceremony, even though she had a rose, because Kat is eliminated even though she really likes Juan Pablo and Sharleen maybe doesn't. Make up your mind, woman!
And of course, Juan Pablo sheds a few tears because he's the most emo lead (using Chris Harrison voice) in "Bachelor" history.
Check out our rundown on this week's "Bachelor" in New Zealand:
One-on-one with Andi
Finally, Andi gets her long-awaited one-on-one! In fact, she's the last of the eight women left to get a private date. Juan Pablo takes her on a river boat ride, then forces her to swim in freezing cold waters through a tiny crevice between caves.
this cave tunnel nightmare is a great way to tell girls they cant weigh more than 95 pounds in order to be a contestant on the #bachelor— a milania parody (@TheFauxMilaniaG) February 11, 2014
The date card alluded to heating things up, so there must be something warm at the end of this chilly adventure, right? Yup, Juan Pablo leads Andi to a hot spring/waterfall and they make out under the gushing water (which frankly looks a bit uncomfortable).
Later, they try to have dinner in front of the geyser, but it ends up just soaking them in mist, so they have to flee on foot. At a safer distance, Andi opens up to Juan Pablo about what she's looking for — love, a partner, family.
Andi," I am so excited to have a family." Great first date material...Im using that from now on. #bachelor— Brooks Forester (@brooksforester) February 11, 2014
He's clearly smitten and pulls a rose out of his jacket. Andi accepts and they make out some more.
Group date: Sharleen, Chelsie, Renee, Nikki, Kat, and Cassandra
Cassandra is bummed that she didn't get the second one-on-one date of the week because it's her birthday. Well, at the least, Juan can give her the group date rose as a present. Dun dun dun …
Juan Pablo takes the women to a field where they go "zorbing" in Ogo balls, these giant, clear plastic balls filled with water. Kat and Chelsie, in particular, seem to have a rip-roaring good time, but it looks like a dizzying nightmare to us.
Rolling down a hill in a ball...so he wants them all barfing on this date...#bachelor— Lauren Howell (@LaurenBrook85) February 11, 2014
But things get so much better that night when Juan Pablo takes them to dinner at Hobbiton! You know, that place where they filmed "Lord of the Rings"! Best. Date. Ever.
He takes the girls aside individually, starting with Renee, who says she's happy that he doesn't view her son as "baggage." After that, Nikki confesses that she's really falling him.
Then, comes Sharleen. When she and Juan Pablo sit to chat, he immediately kisses her. "You cut to the chase," she comments, as he looks confused. He tries to kiss her some more, but she awkwardly cuts him off to ask how his day went. Wow, could this woman possibly be less into Juan Pablo?