"Regis and Kelly": Regis got a visit from the Veep! The Joe Biden train pulled into the "Live" station, so that hizzoner (how the cool kids say "his honor") could give Regis the Vice-Presidential Medal of Retirement, aka a tote bag full of tennis balls. Yeah, your guess is as good as mine. The Biden works in mysterious ways. Two more shows left to go - with a Regis and Kathie Lee reunion tomorrow! They'd better stock up on hairspray and Chardonnay!
"Ellen": Okay, Nikki, one last time... today's guest Dylan McDermott starred in "The Practice", "Steel Magnolias", "Dark Blue", and "American Horror Story". Dermot Mulroney, who is a TOTALLY DIFFERENT GUY, is famous for "Young Guns", "Longtime Companion", and dating Rachel that one time on "Friends". Gah! Wouldn't life would be so much easier if they just teamed up to form a single character actor with good hair? We could call "Dylan McDermy Mulronmott"!
"Access Hollywood Live": Forget fake photos of Prince Harry and Pippa Middleton, where are the fake photos of me and the Prince?! I know that it would be kind of a romantic story if Harry and Pippa ended up together, but wouldn't it also be kind of weird if your brother was your brother-in-law or your sister was your sister-in-law? Maybe not, I'm probably just jealous because it doesn't look like I'll be ending up with a prince like I always dreamed of!
"GDLA": Most people would think that a dog who can surf and skateboard is adorable. But then there's people like me that can't do either of those things and just find it all a bit ridiculous!
"Wendy Williams": Most of the shameless surprise stunts that Wendy has been bringing in are just street performers, which is fine I guess. But this is a nationally-syndicated show, I want something more! I want to see Wendy popping and locking or hula-hooping or riding on unicycles and shooting baskets! That would be truly shameless and surprising!
Watch "Daytime in No Time" right now and e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org!
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