'The Bachelorette' Fashion Face-Off: What in the Holy Hell are These Women Wearing?

Kristen Baldwin
·Editor-in-Chief, Yahoo Entertainment
Updated
image

It’s just so romantic: Two single women, plucked from camera-free obscurity and chosen to participate in the nationally televised husband hunt called The Bachelorette. In just a fortnight, former Bachelor castoffs Britt and Kaitlyn will be living that dream, and by the looks of these new promo photos, they’ll be doing it while dressed in some oddly somber ball gowns.

Related: ‘The Bachelorette’: A Frame-By-Frame Analysis of the New Promo

First up, we have Kaitlyn, in a sequin-covered, form-fitting number that looks, for lack of a better term, like the fabric version of television static.

image

That said, Kaitlynn’s dress is a work of art compared to… THIS:

image

I don’t even know where to start with this. First of all, the color. What do they call that — Coal Ash? Iron Ore? Soot? I’m not even going to argue about the absurd degree of poof happening in the skirt, because we have bigger issues to discuss: Is that a bow or some kind of… satin goiter? For Lord’s sake, ABC, this is supposed to be a friggin’ fairy tale — why are you dressing these women like they’re going to a Spring Formal thrown by Harry Potter’s Death Eaters? I’m guessing this funereal palette doesn’t bode well for Britt and Kaitlyn’s happily ever after.

So what say you, rose lovers — is ABC’s Bachelorette fashion fabulous, or a fright?

The Bachelorette two-night premiere airs Monday, May 18 at 9 p.m. and Tuesday May 19 at 8 p.m. on ABC.