Warning: If you haven’t yet watched The Bachelor season finale, stop reading here. The rest of you, carry on!
We have a winner! If, of course, your idea of “winning” involves getting a marriage proposal from a life-sized Ken Doll whose shoulder is still damp from the tears of a second woman he just flung to the curb to clear your path to the altar.
At the end of The Bachelor‘s two-hour season finale — or, depending on how you look at things, the start of the one-hour “After the Final Rose” special — Sean Lowe got down on bended knee, slipped a whopper of a diamond (courtesy of Neil Lane, naturally) onto Catherine Giudici’s finger, and asked her to be his bride. And she said yes! “Every time we have to say goodbye, I miss you” said Sean, in typical Bachelor-finale-fakeout fashion. “I don’t want to have to say goodbye anymore. Catherine, I want to spend the rest of my life telling you ‘I love you’ and making you feel like the most special, beautiful woman in the world. Catherine, will you marry me?” And then they rode off on the back of an elephant (not a euphemism).
Sean and Catherine’s impending nuptials and/or People magazine breakup cover, of course, meant Lindsay Yenter’s “fairytale” romance came to a sudden and painful end, the goofy Missouri beauty doomed to spend her days surrounded by piled-up newspapers and half-feral cats — or even worse, the inhabitants of Season 4 of Bachelor Pad. “I love you; that’s the hardest part,” Sean told Lindsay, seconds after yanking the rug out from under her and sending her face-first into the wooden engagement platform. “I love you: I know I do. I’m sorry.”
Dude, how’s Catherine gonna feel when she sees you uttering the “L” word to some other chick the same day you put a ring on it? [My favorite part of the finale? Host Chris Harrison strolling over to Sean right after Lindsay's exit, and casually saying, "Hey, man! How's it goin'? That was rough."]
Bonus: One more shirtless Sean montage!
Update: Sean explained during “After the Final Rose” that, “At certain points, God reveals things on his own time, and it’s almost like he said, ‘Catherine’s the one.’” OH SEAN, DON’T BRING GOD INTO THIS!
Update No. 2: “We think it would be cool,” said Sean, “since our relationship started and was developed and cultivated on a TV show, we’ll have our wedding on a TV show — and ABC will cover the wedding!” Yay? Ugh? All of the above?
What did you think of The Bachelor finale? Did Sean make the right choice? Take our poll below, then hit the comments with your thoughts!