In an American Idol season that’s been almost entirely void of suspense — except maybe an intermittent/horrifying feeling of, “Lazaro Arbos isn’t really gonna live to forget his lyrics another week, is he?” — tonight’s Top 4 results telecast sure was an armchair-clenching affair.
With only four ladies left in the competition, the cherished “hometown visits” on the line, and last Thursday’s non-elimination meaning that 38 million votes carried into this week’s tallies, it was one of the few moments in Season 12 where you could sincerely say that anything could happen.
And indeed, by the end of the hour, just about everything did. We had David Cook serving up his delicious new single “Laying Me Low” with his usual brand of unassuming charm and muscular vocals. (That hand-clapping, foot-stomping breakdown was giving me everything I needed in my life today.) We had Harry Connick Jr. — keeping the runs to a minimum, naturally — singing “Every Man Should Know” and prompting my mother to send a flurry of texts including, “Love Harry Connick!!!” “OMG he is soooo good looking!!!!” and “Gives me chills!” [Those are direct quotes, by the bye.]
In other “news,” “will.i.am” “also” “took” “the stage” with a “song” from the Great Gatsby soundtrack. Oh, why am I being polite? Dude’s musical output was less appetizing than a chunk of three-day-old shawarma that’s been pecked to smithereens by pigeons. Uncle Nigel coulda booked Crystal Bowersox or Melinda Doolittle or Katelyn Epperly, and instead we got an old Cher song ripped limb from limb by a combine harvester.
But enough delaying…let’s get to the moment of truth (brought to you by some hideously painted Ford Fiestas):
SENT TO SAFETY (in no particular order)
LAST TWO IN JEOPARDY
After her ouster was announced, Amber offered a tearful rendition of Whitney Houston’s “I Believe in You and Me” that stopped in its tracks after her adorable, weeping dad clambered up on stage to hug her. It was an emotional moment for the underdog contestant who’d received thunderous cheerleading from the judges’ panel in recent weeks, but who nevertheless proved to be a definitive No. 4 in a very tough quartet of contestants. Who knows, maybe Amber will prove Nicki correct, sell a gajillion albums and become the best friend of every girl in America, but for Season 12 of American Idol, I think she finished in the exact right position. Now dry those tears, girl! You’ve got a tour coming up (and an Idology interview to ace)!
A few other thoughts on the evening’s telecast:
* The Top 4′s performance of a big band-inspired “Crazy in Love” was pretty good on the verses, but the chorus — which I’m pretty sure was a backing track — made them sound like a 33 record played on 45. And on the fashion tip, was it me or did Angie and Amber’s outfits look inspired by Gatsby’s art-deco ad campaign?
* Weirdest retort of the night? Keith Urban muttering “Kree is Kree” while defending her from Jimmy’s implication that she was the contestant who deserved the boot this week.
* Best bon mot of the night? “You are gonna cry.” –David Cook, prepping the Top 3 for their hometown visits. But come on man, all of us are gonna cry, yes?
And with that, let me turn things over to you. What did you think of Season 12 Top 4 results? Are you heartbroken, or did the right decision get made? What did you think of Jimmy’s comments? And how about that David Cook fella? Sound off in the comments, and for all my Idol-related news, recaps, interviews and videos, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV!