"The Bachelor" -- "1701"
Another year, another "Bachelor" looking for love. This time it's 29-year-old former insurance agent Sean Lowe of Dallas, who had his heart broken by Emily Maynard on last summer's "Bachelorette."
On Emily's season, Sean was the all-American, wholesome, good guy who was ready to settle down. From the intro, it seems his mission hasn't changed: He wants a wife and kids. The perfect "Bachelor" then!
But will Sean find what he's looking for? Is one of the 26 women vying for his heart "the one"? Only time will tell.
Boys will be boys
First comes a quick recap of what happened between Sean and Emily: He fell in love with her, but she sent him home at the final three. After that, he got over it by getting super buff and acquiring an eight-pack (seriously, those abs -- wow).
As he gets ready for his big night, a friend drops by. It's Arie Luyendyk, the runner-up from Emily's season! Funny, these two didn't seem like BFFs last summer, but they do know what it's like to fall for and then get dumped by the same woman.
They engage in a little comedy routine, with Sean practicing giving out roses and breaking up with women. Then Arie gives him some kissing pointers. It's all pretty funny; is it time for a "Bromance Bachelor" spinoff?
Girls just wanna have fun
Time to meet the women who Sean will possibly fall in love with! There's Desiree, a bridal stylist looking for Prince Charming. Tierra screams like a banshee when she hears that Sean is the "Bachelor." Sarah was born with one arm. Kristy, a Ford model, knows the other girls will be jealous of her. Diana is the mother of two young girls. And then there's Ashley P., who's obsessed with "50 Shades of Grey" and wouldn't mind if Sean spanked her. (Oofa, and she wonders why she's single?)
The first out of the limo line is AshLee, who will clearly be one of the criers this season, judging from her intro video. Kelly from Nashville sings Sean a song she wrote. Robin has an #epicfail at doing a bunch of handsprings. Paige from "Bachelor Pad 3" shows up. Ashley P. does her "50 Shades of Grey" thing by pulling out a tie from her cleavage (oofa).
[Related: Check out photos from the episode]
But it's Tierra, who manages to tamp down her Sean obsession and not appear crazy, who gets a first-impression rose. Seriously, Sean … Tierra? Didn't see that one coming.
Of course, all the other women get super jealous that she got a rose. But their cattiness is nothing compared with what happens when Kacie B., a contestant from Ben Flajnik's season, shows up. It seems that Kacie and Sean met at a "Bachelor" reunion and hit it off, and she wants to see if there's something between them.
Sean tells Chris Harrison that he's ready to find love:
He's surprised and flattered. "It's kind of weird for me … I viewed her as a friend," he says, adding, "I'm open-minded to exploring that."
It's not hard to be open-minded when women are throwing themselves at you.
You get a rose, you get a rose, everybody gets a rose!
Sean starts conversing with the ladies. First up is Desiree, who is kind of kookily charming. And then -- bam! -- she gets a rose. Everyone is shocked. Then he gives out another rose to someone else. What the heck is going on here? Sean's "breaking all the rules," apparently.
He starts handing out roses left and right: Selma, Robin, Catherine. Some girls whose names we don't even know yet. Kacie B. is perturbed she didn't get one; so is Lindsay, who arrived in a wedding dress as a joke (maybe).
An inebriated Ashley P. pulls the tie out of her dress again to get Sean's attention and maybe a rose. "She is a lot to take in," Sean admits. "50 Shades of Grey may have become 50 shades of drunk tonight."
The frustration and anger over the roses is rising. Half the women have roses by now. Taryn starts crying about how she doesn't want to compete over a guy. Uh … did she know which reality show she had signed up for?
Sarah steals Sean for some one-on-one time and explains that she was born with one arm and doesn't want to be perceived as having a disability. He responds by giving her the last rose.
The first cut is the deepest
Chris Harrison shows up to announce it's time for the real rose ceremony. Twelve women already have roses and are moving on to the next round. Of the 12 left, only seven will receive roses. Five will go home.
Sean makes the usual speech about how great it was to meet everyone, how he feels hopeful his future wife is in the room, etc. etc. But now it's time to put both the rose-giving and breakup practices with Arie into action.
The women who get roses: Amanda, Lesley M., Kacie, Kristy, Daniella, Taryn, and Lindsay.
Gone are Paige from "Bachelor Pad 3" and the singer from Nashville, Kelly. And Ashley P. has to look for her Christian Grey elsewhere, as she also is sent home.
For the remaining ladies, Sean declares he is "so hopeful for what the future holds."
"We are about to embark on a crazy journey," he says as they raise their glasses in a toast.
When it comes to "The Bachelor," the crazier the better!
Watch the full episode:
What did you think of Sean's debut as "The Bachelor"? See what people said on Twitter, and then weigh in with your thoughts in the comments below!
I'm sorry, but Wedding Dress Girl is a hot mess. And by "hot" I mean "drunk." And by "mess" I mean "nut job." #bachelor— Alyssa Hertzig (@alyssahertzig) January 8, 2013
Holy smokes, looks like it's going to be one heck of a season of the #bachelor. Broken hearts and.. broken necks?— Chad Robinson (@RoboCop_17) January 8, 2013
I'm so happy Kacie B is back!(: she's such a sweetheart, I really want her to win#Bachelor— Shawna Venaglia (@shawnav34) January 8, 2013
"The Bachelor" airs Mondays at 8 PM on ABC.