Dirty Business of Restaurants: Confessions of a New York Waiter

The waitstaff see what really goes on behind the scenes at high-end restaurants. (Photo: Shutterstock)

Think you know high-end restaurants? Whether you eat out regularly at nice places — the kind with crisp white tablecloths, fine crystal, and a well-heeled crowd — or just on birthdays and anniversaries, chances are you don’t know what is going on behind the scenes. We interviewed the most charming Manhattan waiter we could get our hands on (we’ll call him Fred) about his more-than-a-decade experience in some of the city’s most expensive hot spots. He gave us the scoop, along with his advice on how to get a better time when you’re dining out. (The short answer: If you’ve never worked in a place like this, you have no idea what your waiter is thinking.)

Tips on Tipping

If you actually want your server to get the full amount, tip in cash . (Photo: Thinkstock)

Remember: Even if you think you’re a good tipper, you’re probably not.

With waiting tables, it’s a numbers game. If your bill is $100 and you tip 20 percent on a credit card, eight to 10 percent goes to the federal government for taxes. “Thus, I have now made ten dollars instead of twenty,” Fred points out.

Related: Are You Cheap? The 10 Commandments of (Travel) Tipping You Need to Know Now

Out of that, your waiter has to tip out to the bartender, the runner, and the busboy: they get $4, leaving your waiter $6. “That means I made six percent,” says Fred wryly. “So thanks.”

His advice: Tip well, and even if you pay your bill with a credit card, tip in cash — especially if you plan to come back. Those who tip in cash get much better service.

Keep Your Receipt

Hold onto your credit card receipts and check them against your monthly statement. (Photo: Gillian Van Niekerk/Stocksy)

Always take home the customer copy of your receipt. Why? “Some waiters, if you leave the second copy of the receipt, will change the tip numbers, and — should you notice the discrepancy on your credit card bill, which you probably wouldn’t — you won’t have proof of what you wrote in, if you don’t have a receipt,” Fred says, shaking his head. “I have worked with tons of waiters who do that. It is a common practice.”

And if you’re thinking a nice guy like Fred would never do that himself, think again. “If someone gives me zero tip and they’re from a foreign land, I write in a tip. I assume they just don’t know our practices and that they think it’s included already.”

Related: 10 Restaurants Worth Waiting in (Very) Long Lines

So how much is he paying himself on the foreign tourists’ bills? “I only do ten percent because if management comes back to me I can say ‘You think I am going to lose my job for ten percent?’”

His advice: Check your credit card with your receipts carefully, every month.

Know if the Restaurant is Clean

The shine of your waiter’s shoes can reveal a lot. (Photo: Getty Images)

Don’t look at the china and the silverware to figure out whether a restaurant pays attention to detail when it comes to cleanliness: The dining room will almost always be spotless.

His advice: “Look at the waiters’ shoes — that will tell you what the kitchen is like,” Fred explains. “If the kitchen is clean, their shoes will be clean. If their shoes aren’t shiny, then the kitchen is probably gross and you don’t want to eat what they’re serving.”

Don’t Eat the Bread

Those rolls may look delicious, but you never know who’s already fondled them. (Photo: Getty Images)

“Some restaurants reuse their bread baskets. In other words, if you don’t eat all of the bread, they serve it to someone else,” he says. “Maybe they were paying attention to whether you fingered every roll before you took one, but probably not.”

His Advice: “Unless the bread is hot from the oven, skip it.” Really… you didn’t want the carbs anyway, now, did you?

Wrap Up Your Own Leftovers

Want those leftovers for lunch? Wrap them up yourself to keep them from being mishandled. (Photo: David Smart/Stocksy)

Really, listen to Fred on this one! “In the state of New York, there are standards and practices, but only managers and kitchen staff take a test,” says Fred. “Managers are then supposed to train wait staff and busboys… but 99 percent do not.”

So what does that mean? When you ask for a doggie bag, the state says that the person handling the food is supposed to put on gloves and then put the food into a container. But these lessons aren’t getting imparted. And even if you ask the most ethically sound waiter to stop and put on fresh gloves to handle the food, they won’t do it, according to Fred. “They don’t have time.”

Related: Confessions of a Fed Up Bartender: Dear Hyper Entitled Customers, I Hate You. A Lot.

So what actually happens then? “A good waiter is all about time management. I ask the busboy to do it, and their hands have been in kitchen muck and handling dirty glasses. Think about it: the busboys touch every glass,” explains Fred, his eyes wide with mock horror. “Then they touch your food with their bare hands. They use their grubby a@$ hands that have come into contact with hundreds of mouths.”

His advice: Never send your food back to the kitchen to be wrapped up. Instead, ask your waiter to bring you the container. “The truth is, waiters are busy and they’re probably thrilled to let you do it yourself.”

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