I Ditched My Family for Christmas in Italy...and Got Engaged

Here we are pretending to be gladiator-tough at the Colosseum. (Kathryn O’Shea-Evans)

Who: Kathryn O’Shea-Evans and James Humphrey

Where they got engaged: Rome, Italy

When: December 24, 2011

Status: Married

(As told by Kathryn)

Three Decembers ago, my then-boyfriend James and I decided to give our West Coast-based families the equivalent of a heaping mound of coal for Christmas: We told them we wouldn’t be coming home for the holidays. Getting from New York to Oregon and California at that time of year costs as much as a used car, and we weren’t buying. I was an editor at Travel + Leisure then and had an enormous, insatiable itch to SEE. THE. WORLD. So we took the money we would have spent on the airfare to go west and plunked it down on two tickets to Rome.

Rome is beautiful at Christmas. (Kathryn O’Shea Evans)

Neither of us had been to Rome at Christmas, and it was better than we could imagine: more twinkly and certainly more delicious. There is nothing more Christmasy than the Eternal City in late December. Winding medieval alleys are strung with strands of Christmas lights and glowing orbs. Rotund men proffer paper cones of fresh-roasted chestnuts on street corners. On every block, a church that was built before your great, great, great, great, great, great, great (et cetera!) grandparents drew their first breath sits open to all manner of tourists, filled with glittering crèches and bowed-headed nonnis. Even the food — largely red sauces, wines, and emerald salad greens and artichokes — is Christmas colored.

A chestnut salesman (Kathryn O’Shea-Evans)

It was completely magical, and yet: On that first day, jet-lagged and sleepless from our flights, I was a mega-whiner. You’d think the promise of endless pasta and fresh-made sfogliatelle would be enough for me, but no — when I’m without sleep, I’m cranky on overdrive. My long-term boyfriend, James, however, couldn’t stop grinning. I could tell something was up as we walked the streets, determined to stay up as late as possible to set our body clocks to Italy time.

Related: How Travel Saved Our Marriage

Where we ate breakfast every morning at the Palazzo Manfredi, overlooking the Colosseum (Photo: Kathryn O'Shea-Evans)

James kept launching into long, eloquent speeches about his love for me. But it wasn’t until that night, when we were warm and ensconced in our room at the Palazzo Manfredi, that I figured it out: He got down on one knee and proposed. (Spoiler alert: I said yes!). The ring he gave me was the most special gift I’ll ever receive, a two carat diamond that had been in his family for generations, which he’d had reset for me in a sparkling halo band. My jet-lag dissipated in an instant, replaced by an overwhelming feeling of unconditional love and support that remains today.

Portrait of newly-engaged me on Christmas morning (Photo: James Humphrey)

It’s now been over two years since our wedding — a ceremony during which James vowed not only to love and cherish, but also, among other things, to carry my bags any time we travel (Damn, I love that man!). We’ve since trotted the globe, from camping in the Berkshires to an ultra-luxe safari at Singita and Camp Jabulani in South Africa, but that trip to Rome remains the most magical in my mind. Call it the Italy effect. We snuck into churches for candlelit Masses and to eyeball Caravaggio paintings, crawled up a staircase believed to have been walked by Jesus, and spent a blissful day exploring the Umbrian clifftop town of Assisi, beloved as the home of animal-loving, anti-consumer St. Francis.

I had to take a photo of this Italian romance novel, Harmony Jolly, because it so perfectly captures how we felt! (Photo: Kathryn O'Shea-Evans)

We ate at every adorable hole-in-the-wall we stumbled across. We talked for hours on that trip about our future together, a future that has been decidedly “for better” — filled with more love and happiness than we ever imagined. Now, back in our one-bedroom New York City apartment, when we look at our Christmas tree, which is laden with ornaments from Italy and our other travels, it’s obvious: No matter where we roam, if we’re together, we’re always at home. There’s nothing better than that.

The couple on their wedding day in New York City (Photo: Kathryn O'Shea-Evans)

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