How to P*ss Off a New Yorker in 12 Easy Steps
We, the citizens of New York, love tourists (no, really, we do!) — you bring economic stimulus into our city and give us oodles of giggles. And we know you want to fit in. We know you don’t want to annoy the heck out of us unintentionally or make our eyes roll back in rage… or do you? Sometimes I think people come to visit our fine city just to freak us out, and why not? It adds to the experience! I started this list earlier this year (with nose picking video!) and have been updating it along the way.
Here’s the top 12 ways to really rub a New Yorker the wrong way:
1. Walking down the street hand in hand in hand. I get it, you love each other and/or are afraid of someone going astray (traveling with my Dad and Aunt Dee and Uncle Jim is like herding cats, trust me, I get it), but on the busy sidewalks of New York you are just as likely to clothesline someone as you are in a WWE ring. Do a daisy chain down the streets of Soho and watch locals’ faces contort in rage. You should probably videotape it.
Move it — to the left, to the left… (Photo: faungg/Flickr)
2. Stop in inappropriate places. Whether right in front of a subway turnstile, or at the top of an escalator, or just outside of a revolving door, or right in the middle of a busy sidewalk— don’t stop to check your bag or chitty chat. That’s like braking in the fast line on the freeway.
3. Avoiding sidewalk grates while wearing sneakers. Then laughing hysterically as New Yorkers in heels are forced to navigate those grates in heels. It gets really bad when the heels get stuck in the grates and the shoes come off — or break. (Sidenote: You really should think about walking on the grates. Worse comes to worse, they’ll cave in and you will fall ten feet, possibly busting an arm and then get to sue the city for millions! Bonus!)
Think of the children (Photo: Eden, Janine and Jim/Flickr)