Confessions of a Fed-Up Flight Attendant: Attack of the Ambien Zombies (Part One)
“Betty" is a real-life flight attendant who has had enough.
You think you’ve got it bad when your inflight entertainment conks out, the Pixie-Stix addicted kid behind you mistakes the back of your chair for a vertical trampoline, and the plane runs out of “Good Morning Sunshine” cheese boxes? That’s child’s play. Welcome to Confessions of a Fed-Up Flight Attendant, a Yahoo Travel series where "Betty" describes the harrowing, real life situations she and her comrades in the sky face every day, 35,000 miles away from a foot massage and premium whiskey.
Airplane meal in 1939. (Photo: Allison Marchant)
The biggest problem I face on planes today is the new wave of Ambien zombies. In their real lives, these are probably nice, normal people who just want to get a little sleep on an airplane. Then they choose to take Ambien for the first time on a big metal tube hurtling through the sky after they throw back a couple of cocktails. The result is a horde of lumbering, slumbering zombie passengers wreaking havoc on the airplane.
Full bottle of Ambien. (Photo: Zacharmstrong)
We Call it "The Streak"
On a recent long-haul international night voyage another flight attendant noticed something unusually pale in the aisle. She blinked before realizing it was a totally nude man from coach, gunning straight for first class. She began to run after him and then hesitated. You never know what a stark-naked man might do if you don’t approach him the right way.