Bribes On A Plane: How to Make Nice With Your Fellow Passengers When Your Baby Goes Insane
A young traveler on a plane.
It must have been the meatloaf. Something about garlic and my 18-month-old daughter doesn’t mix: instead of scaring off vampires, Lucy transforms into one. And I made the mistake of feeding her a slice of heavily seasoned meatloaf before a recent flight from Florida to New York. She started off as an angel.
But as soon as the flight took off, she was inconsolable—breakdancing on my lap, trying to pull the hair of the woman in front of us, karate-kicking her seat back. And even though I had loaded up my iPhone with Elmo and Dora and her little sidekick Boots, Lucy got tired of watching the videos and started wailing for Mickey. How could I have forgotten Mickey?
Suddenly, I was the person whom I’ve always loathed during my many years of solo travel: the passenger from hell with the baby from hell in Row 27C.
My husband had the brilliant idea of buying a round of drinks for everyone around us. And it got us thinking: for future trips, we need to pack an arsenal of payola to appease our fellow passengers. Here are 13 bribes that should stop people from looking at you in disgust.
1. A Ziploc bag with earplugs and a heartfelt disclaimer saying that it’s the first time your baby has flown—even if it’s a lie. Bonus points for a lollipop in the bag.