12 Things Foreigners Hate About the US
(Photo: Keoni Cabral/flickr)
Sure, we stick out like sore thumbs overseas, the French think our country consists entirely of pictures of chicken wrapped in bacon, and the Euros don’t like our best snacks. But so what? We didn’t rescue the world twice in one century so we could eat Canadian bacon while watching parliament on public TV.
That said, for as awesome as America is, you have to admit that to an outsider it can seem like one confusing country of gun-owning football fans who shop at Walmart.
Which is why we thought it’d be fun (even though we totally don’t care) to find out what the rest of the world finds most baffling (and most endearing) about the good old U.S. of A.
Your national sports finals are not World Championships. Not even a little bit. Remember that huge event that happens every four years that sucks up relentless hours of TV coverage? No, not the presidential campaign. The Olympics. Yeah, that’s a real world championship. You can’t be the best in the world if you don’t play outside your country. And Canada doesn’t count.
Football is not what that game is. Sure, players use their feet to run. And there is a ball. But realistically, the guys closest to playing anything resembling football (i.e. using a foot on the ball) are the punter and kicker. Are those really the players you want your sport judged on?
The measurement systems are asinine. Feet and pounds made sense when there weren’t better systems in place. People also used to think trephination was a swell idea.
“How are you” is a greeting, not to be mistaken for any sort of interest in you. Asking this question will launch any foreigner into a diatribe about their personal wellbeing. Americans don’t care and will probably think you’re really self-important if you start elaborating.
Relentless optimism and friendliness are the norm. It’s just exhausting to everyone else. Can’t you just accept the fact that some things suck and always will? Like tapioca pudding.