What Is CES, and Why Should I Care?
Rough approximation of the floor at CES. (AFP)
We’ve reached that misfit of a week between Christmas and New Year’s. It’s a time of unprecedented office unproductivity as most people focus on what they’ll be wearing and drinking on the 31st. But tech journalists and other nerds don’t have it so easy. We’re gearing up for an event much larger and louder than New Year’s Eve: the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas.
“CES” probably means nothing to you, a normal human being with a productive, fruitful life centered around other humans (I’m almost jealous). But even if you haven’t heard of this annual trade show, where the consumer tech industry flocks to swap specs of new gadgets each January, it will most likely affect your buying decisions and geeky desires in the coming year. Below, a very brief guide to understanding this incredibly massive, supremely odd event.
When is it again?
Thousands of nerds will descend upon America’s capital of gambling and hedonism starting this weekend, but the organization’s official events will take place from Jan. 6 to 9.
So, like, what do you actually do there?
That depends on who “you” are. If you are a representative of a tech company, you spend most of your week slinging your company’s latest product or announcement or something as nebulous as a “vision” to whomever will listen.
If you are a tech journalist, you spend your week waking up very early to attend major press events led by men who run major companies. They will sound very confident and make lots of promises — most of which will turn out to be exaggerated. In between, you will wander the gigantic, windowless conventional hall with bleary eyes and a heavy backpack, attempting to find the booths belonging to a short list of tech companies who might have something worth writing about. All the while, you pick at mediocre food while simultaneously ignoring imposing salespeople at every corner. You may or may not be perpetually hungover.
If you are a native of Las Vegas, you may find work walking around the floor as a tech-loving clown, or a human covered in iPads for inexplicable reasons.
If you are a celebrity, you may find yourself onstage promoting a product you know little to nothing about. If you are a particularly lame celebrity, say Michael Bay, you may just give up mid-pitch.
If you are a pop star, you will attend a press party and halfheartedly play a string of your greatest hits to a relatively clueless, swaying audience of nerds. They will take photos on their smartphones, post them on Instagram, and then lose interest. You’ll say something like, “Let’s give it up for [brand paying you an absurd amount of money to appear for two hours]!”
That sounds very dystopian.
Yes, but look on the bright side: Most of the drinks are free!
Why is it in Vegas, of all places?
They tried it a bunch of places, and Las Vegas was the only one that really worked. Despite being the scourge of the earth, Vegas’ plentiful hotels, nearby airport, and buffet meals make it a solid place to host such a large event.
That’s right: Las Vegas is an important national resource, the only place able to host gatherings like CES (and CES is far from the only trade show to take over Vegas once a year).
Still not really following how this applies to my life …
Oh, right.
Amid all the noise, lots of legit companies premiere the cool stuff they’re selling in 2015. The wow factor of these products varies from year to year, but there’s almost always something fun in the mix. As my colleague Daniel Howley notes, 2015’s most-watched categories include super-duper-ultra-high-resolution TVs, very smart cars, Wi-Fi enabled appliances, and gadgets you can wear all up and down your hot bod.
To some extent, knowing about these releases will help you make more informed purchasing decisions. Having a general idea of what’s out there, when it’ll come out, and how much it will cost will ensure that you don’t buy a camera in February only to realize that a better, cheaper one comes out the next month.
It’s important to note that the drones, robots, and demos of CES aren’t necessarily in reach for the average customer. But they’re still pretty freaking awesome to watch in action. This, dear readers, is our ultimate goal: to keep you entertained while leaving the exhausting work to our team.
Oh, hey, thanks.
You’re welcome.
Follow Alyssa Bereznak on Twitter or email her.
