Watch: David Pogue Sings About the 2016 Presidential Campaign

Dan Tynan

Regular readers know David Pogue as the guy who does those goofy yet amazingly thorough reviews of tech products for Yahoo Tech. Aside from being the site’s founding editor, however, Pogue is also a classically trained musician with a penchant for writing satirical ditties about technology.

As part of the day-long Yahoo News Conference on Technology and Politics, Pogue turned his jaundiced eye to the passel of 2016 presidential candidates. Watch as he lampoons the lot of them in “Clown Town,” set to the tune of the 1960s Petula Clark classic, “Downtown.”

“Clown Town”

Watch the debates
Among this year’s candidates
And you’ll exclaim out loud— “Clown Town!”
Nothing amazes
me like all of those crazies
Standing tall and proud: Clown Town!

With no grip on reality, they all talk like escapists
Trump says all the Mexicans are criminals & rapists
How can we lose?
There’s Carly’s old HP fail
And there is Chris Christie’s scandal, & Hillary’s mail,

Yes, it’s
Clown Town, Trump and his giant wall,
Clown Town, Jeb isn’t there all,
Clown Town, somebody take me away!

Ben Carson’s rés-
umé’s whatever he says,
That’s what the rules are in—
Clown Town!
Bernie has been in
love with Stalin and Lenin
Since his childhood in—Clown Town!

There’s Kasich & Santorum, with their fiery demeanor
Jindal, Paul, O’Malley, Cruz, and Carly Fioreener,
What a parade!
The voters want nerves and guts
We want outsiders, OK, but do they have to be nuts?

Yes, it’s
Clown Town, Rubio’s slightly odd,
Clown Town, Huckabee—oh, my god,
Clown Town, somebody haul them away!

Please explain why
Details like budgets and sci-
ence just aren’t factors in—
Clown Town!
I want to know,
Is this whole thing all a show?
Are they just actors in—
Clown Town?

Why can’t we find some smarter folks?
Or maybe I’m just dreaming—
Anyone with common sense and brains
Would run off screaming
Politics, man…
The system is set up great
Only the most extreme people will get nominate-
ed to

Clown Town!
Let me throw you a curve—
Clown Town
Might be what WE deserve!
Clown Town
Is the American way!

So in Clown Town
We shouldn’t panic yet
Clown Town
Every four years, we get—
Clown Town! Somehow we always survive!

Now read this:

Dan Tynan does not sing in public. You can thank him for that via email or his Twitter account.