Wait, They Still Make iPods? Really?

Daniel Howley
·Technology Editor
Updated
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Long before Apple’s iPhone and iPad came to rule the Earth, there lived among us another creature — a beaåst with a strange circular dial and monochrome screen. It was called the iPod.

The iPod did one thing, and it did it pretty well: It played music. Later versions let you watch video, surf the Web, and run apps. Though it was beloved by many, the evolution of the iPhone made the iPod an endangered species, if not entirely extinct.

According to 2014 sales figures, the iPod made up less than 2 percent of Apple’s total revenue. Of course, that still is an incredible $2.3 billion. But when you’re talking about a company worth nearly $1 trillion, a few billion dollars is almost a rounding error.

Related: Why I’ll Never Sell My Trusty Old iPod Classic

But lo, what is this? Out of the shadows of the iPhone, Apple has revealed a refreshed line of iPods, complete with new colors for the iPod nano and iPod shuffle, and a new and improved iPod touch.

So gather round, children, and let me tell you a tale of iPods, old and new.

Yeah, har har, really funny. Some people don’t know what an iPod is, very good. Now what’s up with these new ones?

Thanks! I’m glad you liked it, I’m actually thinking about becoming a history writer. Wait, that was sarcasm, wasn’t it?

Yep.

Oh, OK … well anyway, the new iPod shuffle and nano are no different from the old iPod shuffle and iPod nano from three years ago. They just get new paint jobs. The shuffle is still a little square with a minuscule 2GB of storage space for music, while the nano has just 16GB of storage.

Wait, so they aren’t different at all?

Nope, they’re the same as the old ones. They’re not even any less expensive. The iPod shuffle is still $50, and the iPod nano is still $150.

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What about the iPod touch?

That one’s a bit different. The iPod touch is basically an iPhone without a cellular connection. So you can’t connect to the Web without Wi-Fi.

The new version of the iPod touch gets the same processor found in the iPhone 6, so games and apps will run just as smoothly on the iPod as they do on a brand-new iPhone.

The new iPod touch also gets a new camera that’s nearly the same as the one on the new iPhone 6. But it’s also kind of pricey. The 16GB iPod touch is $199, while the 128GB version costs $399.

So why would I buy the nano or shuffle?

Um, good question. I mean, if you want to just listen to some tunes and not worry about your phone — say, if you’re going for a run or to the beach — then the nano might be worth getting.

The iPod shuffle, on the other hand, is kind of a silly buy. If you’ve got kids, it might be worth it, but you’re not going to be able to save a whole heck of a lot of music on it. In fact, with 2GB you’ll get just 480 songs.

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OK, why would I buy the iPod touch?

The iPod touch is actually a smarter buy than the shuffle or nano, as you can not only take great pictures with its updated camera, but also use apps and play games. Like the iPhone, the iPod touch runs on iOS 8, which means you also get access to Apple’s new Apple Music streaming service.

So if you’ve got young kids at home who want to use apps, but you don’t want them having a phone yet, the touch is a solid choice. Or if you’ve got a work phone, and your company won’t let you install anything on it, the touch can be a decent way to get the apps crave.

So are you going to buy a new iPod?

Oh, God no. I’ve got a smartphone that does everything the iPod does and more. Why would I want to carry both?

Fair enough. Thanks.

No problemo.

Email Daniel at dhowley@yahoo-inc.com; follow him on Twitter at @DanielHowley or on Google+.