The Best, Worst, And Weirdest Things We Saw at CES 2014
You say you weren’t one of the lucky 150,000 gearheads wandering the streets of Las Vegas for this week’s Consumer Electronics Show? Here are some of the things you missed.
Glasshole sitings: We counted 21 people wearing a $1500 pair of Google-powered spectacles. Next time, before going out in public wearing one of those things, try saying “OK Glass, Google ‘self respect.’”
Number of men wearing porkpie hats at a jaunty angle so they could pretend they were members of the rat pack: Five, or roughly five too many.
Grooviest new gadget: The Dualo, an electronic musical instrument that you wear around your neck and whose music can be controlled both by tapping on the little circles or leaning and back and forth, via motion sensor.
Most egregious abuse of a Thomas Edison invention:
Yes, I know that there is such thing as electricity, and I know you can wield it to make your sign bright and flashy. But, for the love of god: reel it in. Chances are the majority of journalists who walk by your giant, disco ball of a booth have been staring at screens for the past three days. If anything, your horrible light show will make us move faster away from your booth. Also, it’s not even Thanksgiving.
Most confusing outfit in Las Vegas:
Why is this poor man covered in tablets and being paraded around the floor like a show pony? What are they even trying to sell me?
Most desperate scrawl:
Desperation comes in many forms at CES, in a PR person’s intense, emotionless gaze,endless shouting about free tote bags, and sometimes signs that say “Distributor Wanted!” Nothing says “My product is horrible” more than a sign that admits no one wants to sell it.