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Rock Simulator 2014 Leaves No Stone Unturned

Ben Silverman
Games Editor
June 30, 2014
Rock on grass
Rock on grass

Sick of video games that let you do things? Maybe you need to slow your roll.

The aptly titled Rock Simulator 2014 encourages you to stop and smell the roses by turning you into a rock. Which, come to think of it, means you won’t be able to smell the roses after all.

That’s it. You don’t fight dragons or save princesses or get into high-speed car chases or even get skipped out onto a lake. A rock you are and a rock you will be, just sitting there, as rocks tend to do.

Ironic piece of pop art or legit game? Does it matter? You can’t make this stuff up. Well, you can, but why bother when someone else wrote the following glorious paragraph?

“For a long time, there has been one game missing from the market, a genuine rock simulator. I am here for you today to introduce you to Rock Simulator 2014. This simulator is a rock enthusiasts [sic] dream. You can watch beautiful rocks in any location in the world. From grass plains to salt flats, there are dozens of hand designed BEAUTIFUL environments.”

So when can you “play” it? Rock Simulator 2014 is currently one of the top vote-getters on Steam’s experimental Greenlight system, though it’s a long way off from actually coming out. The developer, Strange Panther, is raising funds through an Indiegogo campaign to help pay for software licensing fees.

Rock Simulator is just the latest in a string of off-the-wall simulation games, including Farming SimulatorSurgeon Simulator, and Goat Simulator. But this one is considerably boulder. Thanks, folks, I’ll be here all night.

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