How More Tech Execs Will Take the Ice Bucket Challenge
When challenged by Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg to take the Ice Bucket Challenge to support ALS research, Bill Gates responded in true nerd fashion: He geeked out and created an ice bucket dumping machine.
Gates did it right, and the question now becomes: How will other tech luminaries perform the challenge? We have a few predictions on what the next wave of Ice Bucket Challenges will look like from technology executives:
Apple design guru Jony Ive will use 100 precision-milled ice hexahedrons made from 10,000-year-old ice recovered from the Lake Vostok drill. The bucket will be made of sapphire.
Instagram CEO Kevin Systrom will have buckets of yellow-tinged ice cubes delivered to him by men with handlebar mustaches in old-timey trucks.
Comcast CEO Brian Roberts will have a stream of ice water dumped on his head. He’ll have to call customer support to stop the ice water, but they’ll ignore him and it will just keep dumping.
Amazon’s Jeff Bezos will have a drone deliver an ice bucket to his head. In Argentina. (See his real Ice Bucket Challenge, below.)
Bezos also mentioned that Edward Snowden's Ice Bucket would leak, so that guy is out of the equation.
HTC CEO Peter Chou will have the best ice dump video of all time, but nobody will care.
Samsung Electronics co-CEO J.K. Shin will be eager to take the ice bucket challenge. He’ll have nine buckets with ice water in front of him, but he won’t know which one to use.
Robert Scoble will dump ice water on his naked body while wearing Google Glass.
Elon Musk will be in bare feet, standing on a platform made of fully charged Tesla batteries, to show how safe they are when submerged.
Google’s Larry Page will sell the history of each ice cube dropped on his head to Frigidaire or GE, whichever pays more for it. See their real Ice Bucket Challenge.
Twitter’s Dick Costolo will use 140 teeny-tiny ice cubes. 10,000 other people will pick them up and dump them on their own heads. See him doing it for real.
Yo CEO Or Arbel will eat one single ice cube and look at you like you know what it means.
Steve Ballmer, formerly Microsoft’s CEO, will throw ice water on all the developers in the audience. The ice water will come from his armpits.
Tinder CEO Mike Kelland will swipe through a bunch of pictures of ice cubes until he finds one he likes. By the time he makes his choice, it will have melted.
Oracle CEO Larry Ellison will say the only way to properly take the challenge is to use a bucket made from pure carbon fiber, of which he owns the only one.
Martha Stewart will realize that dumping ice cubes on her head right before she has a salon treatment is very lame, and will make up for it by selling an Ice Bucket Challenge Bucket available in mauve or daisy. She’ll also recommend using French sparkling water to add a delightful fizz to the activity.
BuzzFeed CEO Jonah Peretti will have Kate Upton, wearing a bikini, dump a bucket of kittens on his head.
Uber’s CEO Travis Kalanick will steal Lyft’s bucket.
Rafe Needleman can be reached at rafeneedleman@yahoo.com. You can follow him on Twitter at @rafe. Rafe thanks all the writers on Yahoo Tech for contributing to this story.
