Drunk Shopping Service Encourages You to Buy Useless Things at 2 A.M.

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Do you see this Nicolas Cage-covered T-shirt? Online drunk shopping is the only reason it exists. A few sips, a few swipes, and boom, you’ve got something you’ll never wear but still managed to spend money on.

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(The horror)

Now, a new app wants to make it easier for you to imbibe booze and make rash purchasing decisions.

The appropriately named Drunk Shopping service wants to help make your regrettable decision to buy a T-shirt covered in Nicolas Cage’s face even easier.

Drunk Shopping works by first requiring you to text “heyyyyyy” (the number of Y’s matter) to 551-333-7865. From there on out, you’ll automatically receive a text message at 2 a.m. every Saturday night asking if you’re ready to shop for the most useless garbage on the planet.

We’re talking about everything from replicas of the giant piano from the movie “Big” to Nessie-shaped soup ladles.

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The service then tells you how much the object of your drunken affection costs and where you can buy it online.

If you tell the mystery person on the other end of the line that you don’t, in fact, want to buy a tiny tuxedo for your dog, he or she will egg you on.

The service is both a test in impulse control and a tiny devil on your shoulder in smartphone form.

The app was created by former BuzzFeed advertising employee Chris Baker, who is also responsible for a few other prank apps including one that lets you chat with an awkward bot.

But hey, it’s free except for text messaging rates and the cost of the products, and the people behind Drunk Shopping don’t take a single penny from any sales. Instead, according to the site, they’re just “in it for the love of the game.”

Still, in this case, I’m pretty sure you can hate both the player and the game … right up until you realize you ordered a dinosaur-shaped shower caddie. Then you’ll love them both.

Email Daniel at dhowley@yahoo-inc.com; follow him on Twitter at@DanielHowley or on Google+.