Behold the Bathroom of the Future
I’m considering redoing our downstairs bathroom. It’s time. This is the bathroom that sees the most action, mostly in the form of muddy handprints on the towels and walls, Lego people jammed in the drains, and those mysterious footprints near the ceiling. I don’t even ask my kids about that anymore. Sometimes it’s easier not to know.
You would think that remodeling a bathroom would be an easy thing, because everyone knows what goes in there: You’ve got your commode (that’s a toilet where I come from), your sink, your tub or shower, and, so you don’t leave the house with food in your teeth, a wall mirror.
“Le Miroir.” (Vimeo)
I thought I’d do a little online research, maybe a reconnaissance mission to the local Home Depot, and I’d be on my way to a new bathroom. How much could toilets have changed in the years since we moved into our house?
Never ask a question unless you are prepared to be blown away by the answer; that’s my new motto.
While I am up to date on my communications technology, I’m still stuck in the 20th century, bathroom appliance-wise. According to my research, we have recently been witness to a whole new era of technological improvements that will no doubt revolutionize the way we … see a man about a horse, as it were.
I, myself, am highly suspicious of products like these, because you know what they say: It’s all fun and games while you’re testing these products in the lab, but no one’s going to be laughing when the interactive toilet starts taking pictures of your behind and posting them on Facebook. Because you know that’s exactly what will happen if you make it angry.
This got me wondering if the companies that develop these bathroom fixtures from the future really do any marketing research. Gadgets are cool, no question, but does the average consumer really need all these high-tech toys in a room where the primary purpose is to come out cleaner and lighter? My guess is no, so as a public service, I will be taking a look at some of the products that came up in my research and presenting a more real-world take on how they might be seen by the typical consumer.
Delta Touch2O Smart Faucet: The only real innovation in faucet technology since the last time I remodeled a bathroom is the hands-free thing, where you reliably produce a cleansing stream of water by holding your hands delicately right under the faucet … uh, moving your hands closer to and then farther away from the faucet … hmm, waving your hands furiously in front of the infrared light while jumping up and down … you know what? Those things never work. I’m going to go with a faucet with a handle, by gum. The Delta Touch2O has a handle and … wait a minute. You can touch this thing anywhere and it will turn on. What’s the point of the handle, then? You can’t reach a little farther?