If Apple can't keep its secrets, who can?

Apple can’t really keep a secret, either.

Minutes into Apple CEO Tim Cook’s iPhone 7 event presentation, which started with Super Mario, Pokémon and coding for everyone, the company’s freshly reactivated Twitter account posted a video of the new iPhone 7 getting splashed by water. This was almost an hour before Cook and Apple SVP Phil Schiller would official unveil the spiffy, new, headphone-jack-free product.

I stared at the tweet uncomprehendingly. What had Apple done? Was this intentional or a screw-up? I’m guessing the latter. Since it was a promoted tweet, it didn’t appear on Apple’s Twitter account page, but people found and shared it nonetheless. 

One of the last remaining iPhone 7 secrets was suddenly revealed. Eventually Apple pulled the tweet and Cook and the company never referenced it, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that while Apple was busy talking about relatively minor updates and partner news, they had temporarily lost control of the core narrative.

SEE ALSO: Apple unveils iPhone 7 and 7 Plus without headphone jack

In truth, Apple, one of the most secretive companies on the planet, lost that ages ago. What didn’t we actually know about the iPhone 7, 7 Plus and even new Apple Watch before Wednesday’s event? The cottage industry of Apple production line and insider leaks has turned into an unstoppable flow. Pundits who know stuff, always know stuff. They have sources whom Apple can no longer stop. One school of thought says Apple doesn’t want to stop these leakers. Having all this information out weeks and even months in advance is sort like soft market testing for Apple’s R+D.

I don’t buy that.

If Apple cared what people think, they’d never have made the “courageous” decision to kill the 3.5mm headphone jack. It’s also unlikely they’d have settled on the somewhat risky AirPods design, which looks like a pair of earbuds in search of their wire mates (my Twitter feed is not in love with the look).

Burying the lede

Apple may not care, but I think it is influenced by the rumor mill. This occurred to me as I watched the somewhat odd cadence of today’s event unfold.

To say that Apple backed into its subject would be an understatement. But with the knowledge that much of what they would reveal on Wednesday would be old news to the media and Apple fans watching online, Apple seemed intent on delivering the unexpected first, even if it highlighted its partnership-building skills and not its technical prowess.

The Super Mario Run announcement and appearance of Super Mario creator Shigeru Miyamoto was a crowd-pleaser, but nothing Apple did in regards to its hardware or software this go-around made it possible. If Super Mario Run was possible only because of the new A10 chip, Apple would have placed the announcement after the iPhone 7. Similarly, Pokémon Go on the Apple Watch is the work of Niantic. The Nike+ Apple Watch is more of a collaboration, though, it's still mostly a design win.

I know that the iWork and Code for Everyone announcements were designed to appeal to the Back to School crowd, but they seemed to kill some of the momentum built up by Super Mario. Cook cares deeply about everyone — especially children — learning how to code, so the inclusion in this event is not surprising. Still, it’s not the sizzle we came for, or that most of Apple’s customers care about. iWork and the collaboration demo were so fast and out of place that they seemed like filler to me.

Image: Marcio Jose Sanchez/AP

Apple Watch came up next with essentially the same story as the iPhone 6s last year. Nothing changed on the Apple Watch, except everything — inside. Apple gave the Apple Watch Series 2 a new chip, a better screen and better battery life, but the design is unchanged. Again, most people knew this was coming. The larger problem, however, is that as much as Apple insists the Apple Watch is a bonafide hit (rising to Number 2 in the watch market), it’s still not the product people came to hear about. Giving it that prime-time real estate in a two-hour long presentation seemed like an odd choice to me. Why were we still waiting to hear about the new iPhones?

Good phones, but no surprises

When Cook and Schiller finally started showing off the new iPhone 7 and 7 Plus, I wasn’t disappointed. The phones are gorgeous and the evolutionary feature updates, like a Force Touch home button and dual 12MP cameras, are welcome. But there were no surprises and, obviously, I knew for at least an hour that the new iPhone would be water resistant. 

In the past, when the world seems to have figured out most of Apple’s product plans, Cook and company have been somewhat playful about this. I didn’t see that this time. The energy was good (Cook sings! Cook runs onto the stage!), but they were also pretty earnest about the updates and defensive about the removal of the headphone jack. 

Image: lance ulanoff/mashable

I agree with Apple; you can’t stop progress. I’ve been telling people for months that this is how ports go (serial, parallel, the original USB). Sure the 3.5mm jack is older than most, but time marches on. Schiller’s decision to cite "courage" and leave an image of an old telephone cable system on the screen as he defended the choice was unnecessary. He could have used that same time to show a quick, funny example or two of the old making way for the new and how it ultimately improved everyone’s lives (horse and buggy to car, typewriter to computer, etc.) and it would have been just as, if not more, effective.

None of this is to say Apple didn't deliver a pair of intriguing new smartphones, nudge the Apple Watch in the right direction or offer up an innovative take on wireless ear buds (we'll be hearing more about their custom W1 Bluetooth chip), but I also felt like I was sometimes watching Apple struggle between the story they wanted to tell and responding to the one they believed their audience already knew.

You know when I think back to that mistaken tweet, it occurs to me that it’s a direct result of Apple’s efforts to regain control of the narrative.

Twitter is the super-highway of Apple information and Apple is usually the guy sitting on his porch, grinning through a stick of wheat in his mouth and watching in bemusement as rickety tweets full of guesswork, innuendo and wishful thinking race by. For the longest time, Apple was content to lean back and watch, but as that road started filling up with more stable cars, ideas that were closer to truth, Apple may have felt the need to finally get on the road, too, and tell its story the way it wanted to — before someone else did. 

Yes, it got off to a bumpy start, but the more Apple understands how these secrets leak out and spread, the better chance it has to get ahead of them, stanch the flow and actually surprise us again. 

That would also require Apple to build something totally unexpected.