10 Terrible Wearables: Can You Spot the Fakes?
Photo: wareable.com
Wearable technology has been the Next Big Thing for several years running now. But aside from the occasional fitness tracker, the even more occasional smartwatch, and the rare Google Glass sighting, the device line hasn’t quite been the game changer that was prophesied.
Of course, it certainly isn’t for lack of trying. In the past few years, plenty of ideas for wearables have been floated. Here we describe 10 wearable technology ideas that made it to various levels of development. Seven are real, three are not. Can you spot the fakes? (No fair searching online.)
1. Cat Ear Headphones
Headphones and earbuds are nice, but they’re so selfish, really. Why keep the music to yourself? Cat Ear Headphones combine standard over-the-ear cushion headphones with a pair of feline-ear-shaped external speakers up top for piping audio to lucky adjacent persons. Flashing LED lights included.
2. Intimacy Dress
Tiny invisible sensors built into the Intimacy 2.0 “concept dress” monitor the wearer’s heart rate and temperature. When these numbers start to spike, indicating that the wearer is aroused, strategically placed sections of the dress turn transparent. The makers of the Intimacy dress plan a line of menswear in the 3.0 iteration.
3. Aurora Dreamband
Sold with a companion app, the Aurora dream-inducing headband plays specially programmed lights and sounds as you sleep. The system is designed to induce lucid dreaming, in which you are fully aware and able to control your own dreams. From the Kickstarter page: “In this state, anything is possible: Zoom through space, fight fire-breathing dragons or become president, all from the comfort and safety of your own bed!”
4. Haptic Headgear
Pioneering new vistas in orthodontia, the Haptic Headgear prototype out of Zurich combines old-school headgear braces with a computerized force-feedback system. The headgear constantly monitors pressure and tension and allows orthodontists to make adjustments with gesture control.
5. The Ring
Designed to be worn on the index finder, the input device known as the Ring is a true revolution in digital (heh) technology. The Ring brings gesture control down to the simplest possible accessory level — paired with your mobile device, it allows you to control apps by simply drawing shapes in the air.
6. Smart PJs
Billed as the world’s only interactive pajamas, Smart PJs feature polka-dot patterns that can be read by a smart phone in the same way as QR codes. Point your phone at your kid, and it will automatically start playing bedtime stories. Available in sizes 1-9.
7. Like-a-Hug
Developed by a team at MIT’s Media Lab, the Like-a-Hug is a “wearable social media vest” that monitors your Facebook page. Whenever someone “likes” one of your posts, the media vest contracts slightly, translating the virtual affection into an actual hug.
8. The Bandwagon Baseball Cap
For the fickle sports fan, the Bandwagon is a standard baseball cap that can display the logo of any of Major League Baseball’s 30 teams with a press of a button. The cap’s front-facing OLED display is powered by solar panels on the bill and pairs with your smartphone or mobile device.
9. Neurocam
The Neurocam camera headset actually uses an EEG dermal patch to monitor your brainwaves. Stare at something long enough and the system detects your level of concentration, then triggers the camera to take still photos or video of whatever you’re looking at. According to the developers, Neurocam sets to utilize wearers’ “thoughts” and “emotions” as device interface elements.
10. Android Faceplate
A limited-run, luxury market expansion for Google Glass, the Android Faceplate is a thin polymer facial prosthetic that wirelessly connects to your smart glasses or mobile device. Nanowiring in the facial covering can be programmed to change your features to resemble celebrities and media figures chosen from a curated selection. Unfortunately, due to complex licensing issues, the only Faceplate options as of now are Tom Brokaw and Barbara Stanwyck.
Answers
Haptic Headgear, the Bandwagon Baseball Cap, and Android Faceplate are, sadly, yet to be invented. (Although the technology for that last one is not far off.) As for the rest of the list:
1. Cat Ear Headphones: Real!
2. Intimacy Dress: Real!
3. Aurora Dreamband: Real!
5. The Ring: Real!
6. Smart PJs: Real!
7. Like-a-Hug: Real!
9. Neurocam: Real!
Glenn McDonald writes about the intersections of technology and culture at glenn-mcdonald.com and via Twitter @glennmcdonald1.
