What You Want to Eat When You're Hangry

Julia Bainbridge
Food Editor
January 13, 2014

Photo credit: Getty

Last night at the 71st annual Golden Globe Awards, Woody Allen was honored with the Cecil B. DeMille Award for his 60-plus years of outstanding work in film. Not everyone was happy about that, the Huffington Post reports; Allen’s former longtime partner, Mia Farrow, had this to say:

"Burn!" and "Zing!" retweets followed, of course, as did both criticism of and (mostly) praise for Farrow’s speaking out. No matter which side you’re on, the mention of late-night sweet treats makes us think: “She was probably hangry.” And ice cream is a great way to end such a state of being (as is watching "GIRLS"). So are:

To twist or not to twist? To dunk or not to dunk? It’s up to you! Oh, the freedom of choice this cookie gives us all… You take that Oreo and you treat it however you want! YOU ARE THE BOSS OF THIS OREO. (They’re also stackable, for those extra-hangry times.)

Chips and Guacamole
Let it be known that we think “hangry” applies to angry eating, not just the state of being so hungry that you’re angry. “I love to get my crunch on when I’m anger eating,” said one of our editors. Her recipe for conquering hangry: make guacamole; open chips. On sofa, cross sweatpants-clad legs. Place bowl containing guacamole in the center of now pretzel-shaped legs. Place bag of chips behind left thigh. Place beer behind right thigh. Turn on television; go to town.

Give us a bowl of crushed tomatoes spiced with harissa and garlic, thickened with Greek yogurt and topped with barely-poached eggs, and we’ll use a fat slice of toasted bread as a utensil. We might even stand over the pot, spooning the stuff directly into our mouths. Either way: no more hangry.

"Think I care about the number of ten-syllable ingredients listed on the back of this bag? I don’t. Think I’m concerned that what I’m putting into my body is also leaving an orange stain on my fingertips that won’t come off for three washes? Think again. LAY OFF ME, I’M STARVING.”

Steak Frites
The only item on our list requiring a fork and knife, steak frites satisfies hangry in a way that the burger cannot. The first inkling of satisfaction comes from the visual experience: there’s not a single green thing on that plate, so you’re definitely not going to be hangry when all is said and eaten. The second layer of pleasure comes from slicing through seared, browned edges to reveal pink meat, then bookending a cube of it with two fries on the length of your fork. Finally, you chomp down on the creation, which is juicy, and crispy, and salty—so good you kinda want to grunt a little, maybe beat your chest. But don’t do that. Reach for the wine glass, wash it down, and proceed to the next bite.

Hangry, be gone.