The Annoying Phrase We All Need to Quit Saying
By Caitlin Moscatello
Raise your hand if this exchange sounds familiar. You: “Hi, [insert friend’s name]! How have you been?” Friend, half glancing at her iPhone: “Good, good.” And then…the inevitable sigh. “Sobusy.”
It seems that everybody likes to be “busy” these days. We’re busy when we’re at a party, sipping wine, and the person sitting next to us asks how things are going. We’re busy when we bump into that former coworker at the gym who wants to know “How’s life?” We’re even busy when our parents call to say hello and casually inquire about work. But as Inc.’s Jessica Stillman points out, the reason we actually like to be busy isn’t because we have so much to do. It’s because saying we’re busy is a subtler, more acceptable way of saying we’re important. Imagine the conversation, then, if we were to actually say what we mean:
“Hi! How have you been?”
“Really well, thanks! Ugh, but also, you know, really important.”
"I hear you. I’ve been really important too, lately.”
“Crazy, right? But you know what they say, better to be important than not to be!”
“Totally. I barely notice how important I am anymore. It’s just my norm. To be this important.”
Of course, it’s easy to feel import…I mean, busy…when we’re constantly connected to work all the time—or at least have the ability to be connected. And perhaps as a result of that ability—combined with ego—our culture has come to revere the workaholic. Think about it: Who hasn’t answered an email late at night just so her boss thinks she’s constantly on? But some scientists are starting to see workaholism as a real addiction and one that could seriously hurt you and your career career.
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According to a recent study called ”All Work and No Play? A Meta-Analytic Examination of the Correlates and Outcomes of Workaholism” published in the Journal of Management, workaholism can create job stress, burnout, and decrease productivity. It can also lead to “decreased health” and “greater work-life conflict,” according to Malissa Clark, an assistant professor of industrial/organizational psychology at the University of Georgia and lead author on the study.
“Similar to other types of addictions, workaholics may feel a fleeting high or a rush when they’re at work but quickly become overwhelmed by feelings of guilt or anxiety,” said Clark in a release about the study. “Looking at the motivations behind working, workaholics seem pushed to work not because they love it but because they feel internal pressure to work. This internal compulsion is similar to having an addiction.”
The major difference between being someone who is passionate about her job and a workaholic comes down to one feeling, according to Clark: guilt. If you feel driven to work more because you truly love your job, that’s one thing. But if you feel guilty not answering that email at midnight on a Saturday and so you find yourself frantically writing back, perhaps hating your life, that’s workaholism.
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Millennials might still be saying we’re “busy” all the time, but we actually might be poised to reverse the workaholic trend as Gen Y moves into management roles. “We also see trends that millennials seem to care more about work-family balance than previous generations,” said Clark.
Gender might also play a role, with younger women, specifically, being less likely to be “addicted” to their work. “We found that, for samples with a greater percentage of women, the relationship between age and workaholism was positive, meaning that older women were more likely to be workaholics than younger women,” said Clark. “In samples that had more men, the relationship between age and workaholism is negative, meaning that older men were less likely to be workaholics than younger men.”
OK, so sometimes we really are busy. But have you ever found yourself using the word as it’s described here? Do you hear it a lot from other women? Share in the comments!
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photo: iStock/Getty Images Plus
