Sorry, Us Weekly — celebrities are not just like you and me! Even if Leo and Cate don’t take home a golden Oscar statue on Sunday night, they still have a pretty nice gift bag— worth a whopping $232,000 — to console them come Monday morning.
While last year Oscar noms were given over-the-top freebies like $20,000 worth of mind-control lessons, a $12K glamping trip, and his and her Orgasm Shots, this year they will be treated to the likes of a $55,000 all-inclusive trip to Israel, a year’s worth of on-demand Audi car rentals, and $300 worth of M&M’s, which celebs can personalize by adding photos or custom messages. #OscarsSoWhite, anyone? There’s also $6,300 worth of freeze-dried Halo dog kibble to be donated to an animal shelter of an actor’s choice, a “Vampire Breast Lift” procedure (too bad you can’t get the procedure, which removes blood from the arms to spruce up the boobs, before you walk the red carpet ), and a $275 roll of toilet paper courtesy of Joseph Toiletries.
The hefty price tag of the TP (a favorite of Gwyneth Paltrow’s) is due to the fact that it’s made from tender virgin new-growth cellulose fibers and is sprayed with cleansing and lotion tonics to ensure a tender touch on the most precious posteriors. Even better? This fancy tissue will come in handy for wiping away all those tears shed by the Oscar-night losers.