Mindy Kaling: In Hollywood, Women Have to Send Sorry-I'm-Assertive Gifts
Mindy Kaling has a problem with lead female characters on TV. They're too nice.
"I think that there's this feeling when you're [creating a show] that no one wants to see a type A creative person on TV because that's not soft and likeable," she said at the 7th annual Women in the World summit yesterday, "I think the reason is that people don't want to turn off men...because of a woman who is too assertive or confident."
The actress opened up about not only being challenged by common Hollywood tropes, but also having to do so as an Indian-American. Kaling was the first woman of color to create, executive produce, and star in her own TV sitcom with The Mindy Project, and with that came certain expectations.
"There's a palpable excitement when someone has the part of a lead actress on a sitcom [and] does not look how you would normally think she would look," she said,"Because there's so much excitement to get it right and have the character be a shining example of [a] minority, it was very problematic for people that I wanted to be a really flawed, delusional, funny character because as an actress, that's more fun."
She continued:
"Most television shows you watch, the predominant characteristic of a lead female character is that she's nice and I battle two urges which is that women, especially young women, especially young women of color want to see someone on TV who is not playing a terrorist or someone in IT but is someone who is good and makes good decisions and makes a good mother, and good wife, and girlfriend, and teacher, and leader and the fact of the matter is I have that urge to, but also, all the best parts are villains. Any actor will tell you that and all the best parts are people with spiky sides [with] nuances and contradictions in their life so the way that I've come to terms with it is that I hope that young women look to me, Mindy Kaling as a role model and let me play the characters I want to play. That's sort of how I look at my work."
Another conflict she addressed during her talk is balancing her need, as a producer, to be authoritative with wanting to be liked. "I am very decisive, but I also care what people think of me," Mindy explained, "I want it to be a certain way, but if I stay for too long, I'm like, 'But there's some wiggle room.'[...] I'm very assertive, even to the point of being brusque, and then I just send cupcakes with a note that says 'I'm sorry that I was so assertive. Love, Mindy.'" She elaborated on the "cottage industry" in LA of "apology gifts" to send for being too assertive as a woman, including flowers and puppies."I'm sorry I demanded respect at that meeting, here's a puppy party," she joked. It's funny, but all too telling.
Watch Mindy's interview in full below.
