How Jupiter in Libra Might Mess Up Marriage for Good
Is the institution of marriage done and dusted? We're not saying it is, but...as news broke of celebrity supercouple Brangelina dismantling their portmanteau, we can't deny that our faith is shaken. What about the global family? Chateau Miraval in the south of France? The humanitarian aid and awareness campaigns? No, no, no, no, NO!
As astrologers we could have kinda, sorta seen it coming? This September 9, 2016 - literally one week before Angie filed the papers - Jupiter, the planet of risk, evolution, and growth - embarked on a 13-month tour through Libra, the sign that governs matrimonial unions. Jupiter's annual cycles are known for accelerating change. This planet longs for freedom, adventure, and experimentation; nothing conventional will do. Until October 10, 2017, marriage (and all forms of committed partnerships) are in the red-spotted planet's crosshairs. White picket fences could feel like jail cells now. Hence, Brad and Angelina become Jupiter in Libra's premier poster children for what can happen when a once-passionate union becomes a little too...predictable.
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Interestingly enough, the Pitt-Jolie merger became an official thing when Jupiter last toured Libra from September 2004 to October 2005. In January 2005 the "sensitivity-chip lacking" Pitt filed for divorce from Jennifer Aniston. Then, in March, he was photographed frolicking on the beach with Angelina and Maddox, looking a helluva lot like the toddler's wannabe daddy. Forward to June 2005 and a bomb-dropping spread in W Magazine confirmed the pairing for good.
Some hopeful statistics: Since Jupiter's last tour through Libra (2004-5), national marriage rates have remained essentially steady in the U.S., while divorce rates have even decreased slightly. In 2015, the Supreme Court passed the Marriage Equality Act into law making the sacred union legal for same sex couples in all states. Sure, there's still work to be done. But there are still people out there who believe in this institution! With Jupiter back in Libra, the marriage-minded among us might simply need to reinvent the dream instead of giving up on it.
Here are a few zodiac-inspired tips for making it through this year-plus cycle without winding up on Cupid's shit list:
1. Give the "Wedding Industrial Complex" the Finger
Who among us hasn't had at least one bride fantasy? Even if you'd prefer to rock a tux or bikini than a white column dress, bride status brings a rare opportunity to be queen for a day-photo shoot at all. The trouble is, getting married isn't the same as being married. The registry and the revelry are only a tiny fraction of the story, even though they are sold as the holy grail to little girls the second they spot a princess dress from the buggy seat of a Target shopping cart.
Before you take a walk down the aisle, make sure you can get as excited about the aftermath. Real talk: Long-term relationships actually are boring sometimes-and that's their beauty. Studies show that having a consistent and reliable partner soothes the parasympathetic nervous system, reduces stress, and even boosts immunity.
If you fear you might be more into the wedding than the marriage, give yourself this mental test: What if - in the spirit of heyday Brangelina - you put a charity on your registry, advising guests to donate to the cause instead of loading you up with Le Creuset pots and Egyptian cotton sheets? We're not saying you should deny yourself gifts, but why not at least include a cause of choice as one of your gifting options?
Or, here's an idea for those getting hitched while globetrotting Jupiter is in Libra from September 9, 2016 to October 10, 2017. Turn your registry into a travel fund and opt for the experiential bonding over the amassing of stuff. Touring South America with your betrothed could give your union far more juice than deciding whether to get the French oven in Caribbean blue or classic Flame.
2. Create Romance; Don't Expect it Will Just Happen
Let's be honest: Getting strung out on "new relationship energy" is one of the most amazing natural highs. To wit, the W Magazine spread of "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" was literally crackling with life force energy as the newly minted pair acted out their taboo fantasy of being a real-life couple on the page (sorry, Jen Aniston). When the sizzle starts to fizzle, it's not uncommon to just bounce and replace with a new partner, only to repeat the cycle again (and again). But living forever on the unpredictable adrenaline rush of new love makes it hard to get anything else done, from the laundry to our work assignments. P.S.: if your S.O. keeps you on the edge of your seat like that after a couple years you may have found yourself a player for life. Um, congratulations?
Still, settling into old-marrieds mode doesn't have to be the depressing alternative. Enter Jupiter in romance-addicted Libra, reminding us that we can generate amorous feelings when they aren't "just happening" anymore. Planning date nights might not seem spontaneous, but as busy lives unfold it might be the only way a couple can carve out time for one another. And, it turns out, having enough "me time" is equally essential, according to this TED talk by Mating In Captivity author Esther Perel. Perel's life work centers around helping couples maintain sexual desire in their relationships. One of her recommendations? Avoid making your partner your everything. "Today, we turn to one person to provide what an entire village once did: a sense of grounding, meaning, and continuity. At the same time, we expect our committed relationships to be romantic as well as emotionally and sexually fulfilling. Is it any wonder that so many relationships crumble under the weight of it all?" she asks.
Fiercely maintaining a measure of individualism is also a must. Says Perel, "Love rests on two pillars: surrender and autonomy. Our need for togetherness exists alongside our need for separateness." Now, go book that yoga retreat, sign up for the pottery class, join the memoir-writing circle! Nurturing yourself will pay dividends to your love life!
3. Don't Let Geography Be a Barrier
Jupiter is the zodiac's traveler and global ambassador. During his tour of Libra, we could see a rise in long-distance relationships. Well, why not? If you abide by Esther Perel's theories, having space is hardly the death knell to a relationship, as long as there's also enough together time. So if you want to fulfill your life's goal of earning a PhD from an East Coast university, but your S.O. is based in L.A., don't deny yourself the dream. Or, say you're a single, liberal lady who is stuck in a Trump-supporting town. Extend the search radius of your dating efforts. Love may be a commuter flight away!
4. Consider "Monogamish" Status
This one's not for the faint of heart, but with indie-spirited Jupiter revolutionizing relationships, it must be discussed. Over the coming year-plus, putting a ring on it might not be the gold standard for lovers. And even if it is, does that mean we have to deny the very human impulse of raw attraction?
Enter "monogamish," status, a term coined by (Libra!) sex columnist and radio host Dan Savage. This one's for the committed pair who may occasionally explore an outside dalliance...not by sneaking around, but by actual agreement. Mongamish arrangements can have any boundaries. For example, maybe it's okay to flirt or kiss, but not have sex. One couple we know has a "don't ask, don't tell" vacation policy. When one of them travels solo, they're allowed to hook up with anyone they meet along the way, drawing the line at third base to avoid the risk of STDs. The other partner agrees not to probe for the details, even if they're feeling jealous or curious. This arrangement has kept some sexy mystery and desirability in their bond...and they've been together for 16 years. No, this won't work for everyone, but with Jupiter in Libra, repressing your inner flirt could be a libido killer. A little witty banter and lash-batting should not be considered cheating; in fact, feeling attractive fuels sex drive.
And we'll end with this bold prediction: Jupiter in Libra could make us all a lot more "relationship fluid," bringing polyamory more into the zeitgeist. In the past, polyamory has been mythologized as a New Age form of playing the field (or confused with polygamy), but that's generally not the case. Like any other long term relationship, polyamorous unions cannot survive without clear agreements and commitments. The only difference is that there may be three, four, five (or more) people involved. The Ethical Slut, the bible of polyamory, outlines all the "rules" involved in the game like the having ultra transparent communication and considering veto power for the primary partners when the other wants to date someone they aren't fond of. There's even the concept of "compersion," defined as a feeling of empathy that arises from watching someone you love be intimate with someone else. That's a pretty radical concept for a lot of people out there and many of us are indeed wired for monogamy. But Jupiter in Libra may present us with other choices now, allowing us to create our closest relationships by our own design. Hey, isn't that what free love is really all about?
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