To any girl who hated Amber Stone Williams' social media pregnancy announcement, there's something this expecting mom needs you to know: She understands the pain that it may have caused and is extremely sorry for it.
"I get it. I know the feeling. That gut-wrenching, hard to breathe feeling," she wrote on Facebook. "Because I was that girl."
Amber explained that she was once that person left crushed when she saw yet another pregnancy announcement while scrolling through her newsfeed. "The girl that felt sick to her stomach because it wasn't me doing the announcing. The girl that was so angry that you didn't even have to try... It was an 'accident,'" she wrote. "The girl that would cry behind closed doors because my heart was so broken that my body wouldn't produce a miracle like yours would."
For any woman that who was triggered into an "emotional hot mess" from Amber's pregnancy announcement, this expecting mom believes it's important for her to acknowledge your pain and apologize for her part in it. "I know your heart is breaking into a million pieces all the while you are digging way down deep to express just an ounce of joy for the parents-to-be," she wrote. "I know the ugly jealous feeling all too well. The kind of feeling that makes you feel like you're back in high school, and it isn't a feeling you are proud of."
Amber has been through a difficult time in her life that was ugly, heartbreaking, full of hope, and ended in despair. But through the hardships, she learned to have faith and patience because having a baby is no small feat that should be taken for granted. "Let's be real: conceiving is an absolute M-I-R-A-C-L-E," she wrote. "But in my waiting, my eyes have been opened. They have seen the devastation and the depression that takes place while you wait. The unexplainable sadness that completely overwhelms every inch of your body."
For those who are still struggling, this is what Amber needs you to know:
I see you over there holding that sweet baby in the nursery longing and dreaming of the day you hold your own. I see you crying at baby dedication when the pastor talks about how big of a blessing children are. I see you cringe when you get asked once again when you're going to have a baby and you just want to punch them in the face and cry all at the same time. I see you avoiding your pregnant friend like the plague because it's just too hard...
I have seen the other side, and I get it … But I've seen just how therapeutic it is to have someone who just cares. I mean truly cares. Someone that will take just a minute out of their day to check in with you and won't accept "doing good" for an answer because we all know that's a lie. Someone that will drag you out of the house for some coffee, and depending on the day, will either sit there in the silence or will let you pour your heart out, and they won't tell a soul.
So, this is for the girl who got another negative pregnancy test this morning… to the girl who has no idea why this is so hard for her… to the girl whose heart is so bitter… to the girl who has lost a child due to miscarriage or heartbreaking circumstance… to the girl whose adoption process has failed once again… to the girl who has one child but can't seem to get pregnant again… I love you. I am so sorry you are going through this, and I know it's just not fair…. Don't miss what could be the greatest journey of your life because it isn't exactly what you pictured. Don't let the bitterness and jealousy flood your veins distracting you …
[It took] 476 days of infertility.
Thousands of dollars in medical bills.
11 months of Clomid.
Injection after injection.
Prescription after prescription.
Ultrasound after ultrasound.
Hundreds of needle pricks.
Months of failed treatments.
And 2 pink lines to remind me how faithful my God is in the midst of it all and that it was worth every single second.