Just when you thought you couldn't love The Greatest Singer in the World™, Céline Dion, any more, here she comes sliding into the Beauty and the Beast premiere wearing a gargantuan baby-blue collar bow!
Like, bow to the bow. (Ha, English is weird.) Bow all the the way down.
This is everything. Like literally. This Siriano gown is a lewk and a half. And really, bow is too simple a word for such an extravagant statement piece. What should we call this to give it its due? Fabric wing? Neck bunting? No. Double-sided shoulder cape.
This is that look for when you're stately and elegant but your right arm is extra as hell. Like you're in that Vivica A. Fox movie about the boy whose hands got possessed by the devil. But instead of the devil it's Liberace. Can you imagine getting possessed by Liberace? How fabulous. Can someone make a horror movie about that? It can be called The Ring and the Other Ring. So Many Rings.
(It's a working title.)
A damn bow! With a train! This woman is classic. I'm sure this has an actual fashion name but if that name isn't "double-sided shoulder cape" or "arm bib" it's a waste. I will also accept "El Bow" because wordplay.
This lewk is matadorable.
Céline is having a moment! She slayed in red thigh-high boots and Elsa Schiaparelli couture in Vegas. And she blessed us with a JLo moment on the Grammys red carpet. And then there was this!
CAN YOU EVEN?
But the true lewk that has me shewk was the gown she wore to present the Song of the Year award. I am still in full cardiac arrest from her entrance. It is serious! I am under round-the-clock care at the medical center for people who have literally died from extraness. You may know the facility by its proper name: Ru Hospipaul.
You have to see this. She turns the corner like the bossest of bosses and stalks that Grammys stage like a runway while "My Heart Will Go On" blasts from the heavens. It. Is. Everything.
Yes, you better flutter and flow, gown! You own the air, you own the stage! You own everything!
Honestly there is no move more iconic than bursting into a room like the surprise witness at a murder trial (the victim: all your faves) accompanied by the booming sound of your own voice hitting the second-greatest series of notes ever recorded.
The greatest series of notes obviously belongs to the last chorus in "I Will Always Love You" and I'll fight anyone who disagrees. SEE YOU IN COURT. I'll be one in the double-sided shoulder cape, living.
Follow R. Eric Thomas on Twitter.
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