At BeautyCon NYC, Some Hope for Teenage Girls

The predictably busy atmosphere at BeautyCon yesterday. Photo: Getty

I haven’t been a teenage girl for years, but I still remember what it was like, maybe a little too vividly. The feeling of never being fully comfortable in your skin. The changes your body goes through that make you feel like you have no control over your physical person. The brooding, the crying to sad music, the nagging feeling that something is wrong with who you are, and you don’t know how to fix it, if you can, or even should. It’s a really confusing and awkward time, so I always feel protective towards girls that young, because they are, at that point in their lives, most vulnerable – even if they can be a pain in the rear sometimes.

All those feelings I hadn’t experienced in so long were conjured back up yesterday at BeautyCon NYC. There were people of all ages in attendance, but quite frankly, I hadn’t been around that many teenage girls in a while. I couldn’t help but try to see the world through their eyes, growing up at a time when their exploits, their blunders, their triumphs and their less-than-savory moments are all documented for their peers to see on the internet. When I was their age, we had Friendster and MySpace. By my senior year, Facebook was finally open to high school students. I shared this fact with a girl who looked about 15 or 16, watching her kohl-blackened eyes widen at the comment. “woah, really?” She said, sounding a little too shocked. Dang girl, I’m not that old. But to her, I guess I am. These kids have Facebook… plus Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat and everything in between – all on their phones, accessible all the time. It’s enough to cause any parent or concerned adult to panic (as every generation does) about the state of teendom today.

But despite my worries around the social media-obsessed world these young girls live in, I think ultimately, the kids are going to be alright. What stuck out to me yesterday was the overarching sense of community among these young girls connecting over makeup and hair, milling around Pier 36 with glitter-painted lips and cat ear headbands – so many cat ear headbands. All these girls were either BFFs or BC boos (which, I assume are BeautyCon boos) and spoke internet fluently. A few of them had also met each other online, as I discovered during keynote speaker Bethany Mota’s Q&A with our own Joe Zee.

Joe Zee and Bethany Mota in action at BeautyCon NYC. Photo: Getty

Mota is a force that has brought so many teenage girls together, and it showed. The 19-year-old lifestyle guru took the stage, which was flanked by gaggles of girls, all packed in tightly, excitedly waving and pointing with their respective groups of girlfriends whom they had met online bonding over Mota’s videos. “I met some of my bestest friends through you,” one girl told Mota when they fielded questions from the audience. “We are the best BC boos and we love you more than anything.” It is clearly wonderful for Mota, as a young lady barely above high school age, to know such camaraderie exists thanks to her. “To see that you guys are making friends around the world through my channel makes me so happy,” Mota said. And it warmed my cold, cynical heart as well. Being a teen is tough and at that age, nothing is more important than your friends.

For these girls, Mota is helping them navigate teendom in a positive way. Now that Mota is nearly out of her teen years, years spent in this hyper-connected, social media-obsessed world, few people know better than she how to successfully navigate such treacherous waters. “I didn’t have a lot of confidence in myself and I dealt with cyber bullying,” one girl told Mota, eager for advice on how to rise above the shady behavior and name-calling. Of course, Mota had the perfect response. “When I dealt with [bullying], it affected my confidence and I felt so bad about myself. I started not wanting to make new friends, I wouldn’t leave my room for months because of something someone said about me online,” she said. “I was really young at the time, so it was easier for things to get to me. Now, it really wouldn’t phase me, but it all comes down to developing this confidence in yourself and not needing to rely on anyone else for your happiness. If you wake up every morning and rely on other people to make you feel good about yourself and feel happy, I guarantee you, you will always be disappointed.”

As I trudged out of Pier 36 later that day, happily weighed down by several bags of free beauty swag, I felt that perhaps we shouldn’t worry too much about the strange reality of the modern teenager. They’re dealing with this crazy world just as we are. Sure, they are a little selfie and social media obsessed. Things might not be perfect, but if YouTube beauty gurus are helping them get through it all, that’s OK with me.

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